Join me as I share my personal journey of discovering the power and importance of taking ownership of our actions and desired outcomes. I'll share my insights on starting a flower business as a perfect example of checking in with our goals and being honest about which parts we love and which parts we don't. You'll discover that awareness without judgment is vital when it comes to our thoughts, beliefs, and goals, and that taking ownership is the key to breaking free from patterns that keep us stuck. So, let's embark on this journey together and unlock the full potential of our dreams and aspirations!
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Join me as I share my personal journey of discovering the power and importance of taking ownership of our actions and desired outcomes. I'll share my insights on starting a flower business as a perfect example of checking in with our goals and being honest about which parts we love and which parts we don't. You'll discover that awareness without judgment is vital when it comes to our thoughts, beliefs, and goals, and that taking ownership is the key to breaking free from patterns that keep us stuck. So, let's embark on this journey together and unlock the full potential of our dreams and aspirations!
ENJOY THE PODCAST?
Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
LEARN MORE ABOUT COACHING
NandiCamille.com
LISTEN TO MY CONFIDENCE SESSIONS IN THE MARIGOLD APP
50% off annual membership: Use code: NANDI50
---> Click below to learn more
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/marigold-self-confidence/id1463889202
LET'S BE SOCIAL
Have a question, comment or request for the podcast? Want to be social?
Email: hello@nandicamille.com
Instagram: @nandi.camille
Learn more about Nandi and Life Coaching at: NandiCamille.com
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, life Coach, nandu Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go? Hello, hello, hello, my friends, and welcome back to episode.
Speaker 1:I don't know what episode it is, but season five of the podcast. I'm really excited. It's the first time that I'm on the Mac computer and there's all sorts of technical difficulties happening, but you know what, you guys. Finally, finally, i am batching my episodes. I have talked about this before, how this has been a new habit that I've been trying to develop for a while now and I've struggled with it. Starting the habit of batching my episodes meaning recording more than one episode at a time ahead of time, versus what I was doing before was recording one episode a week for the upcoming week. Sometimes it would end up being the same day I was recording it and it would cause stress and frustration, and it's not that it was bad or wrong to do it that way, but it did cause stressful situations and there are a few times where the podcast will come out late as a result of me, you know, only doing it once a week versus getting all the kinks out, getting all the things out of the way ahead of time. And then when you're batching episodes, at least for me, i'm not only recording them ahead of time, but then I'm going in and I'm doing the show notes ahead of time, getting it teed up, scheduling it so that way, when the week comes that the podcast goes live, i'm not having to manually put it in, which is what I was doing. Again, not wrong, but I am just looking for ways.
Speaker 1:I'm in a season of refurbishing, cleaning up, deep diving and seeing what's working with non-whats next, essentially what I'm always doing with my clients. We can get to a really lovely season in life where things are going really well, and then often, when we're ready for the next season, i ask those three questions what's working? what's going really well in your current life? what's no longer serving you? Maybe there's things that used to serve you and served you well to get to where you are now, but now you have to let go of to get to the next level. Right, i again used to record this week to week and that served me, but now that I'm working on more projects, it serves me to batch them ahead of time. So it's no longer a weekly task but more so a bi-weekly. Hopefully the goal is monthly, but right now I'm starting with actually no, it'll only be monthly. I'll sit down once a month for over a couple of days and record all the podcast episodes for the month, which is only four a month. It's only once a month and then I'm done So, doing two a day within a week per each month. Does that make sense? I'm rambling a little bit now. All right, my friends, welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited for season five. It's crazy that we're on season five right now.
Speaker 1:I just sent out a newsletter. If you want to be a part of that, make sure you go into the show notes, into the description, so that you can be a part of that, or go to nondekamilcom and then you can subscribe. But I just sent it out and with that newsletter that I just sent out I put it in some statistics, and some of the statistics I actually had to go into Busbrow, and that's the platform that I use to send everything out and see what some of my statistics were. It was so nice, it was grounding, it was exciting, it blew my mind because in January of this year, i got a lot of stats from Buzzsprout. One of them was that I was the top 50, i was in the top 50% of podcasts, which, to be honest, i don't know exactly what that means, but in my understanding it means that I am amongst the top 50% of best performing podcasts. That is my guess. If you have a better description, please let me know. Um, but then at the time, it was 33 countries that I reached. And then I looked when I went to set up my newsletter and I've gotten up to 70, 71 countries that this podcast has reached now, which is crazy, crazy and so exciting. And when I looked back, the other thing that I realized is that this podcast is three years old as of this May, so it's now June, but as of May 2023, the podcast is now three years old, which is cray-cray sauce So exciting. It really does blow my mind.
Speaker 1:It's a little bit still of a surreal moment for me that we have these ideas and they're like the seeds that we plan in our gardens. It's gardening season for me now, so it's a really great analogy. I planted some seeds, some summer squash, two weeks ago and they're just blossoming and our dreams have the potential to do the same. Right, we can plant these seeds, we can have these ideas and giving it light, giving it sunshine, giving it nutrients and its soil, you know, giving it the right aeration and temperature. When we nurture our dreams, just like when we nurture these seeds, amazing things can happen. That's, i think, why I love trees so much. You look at a tree and it came from a little seed, but especially those 100 plus year old trees that just get to be so massive and provide shade and homes for animals and bugs and all this stuff. And it came from a seed and our dreams are the same.
Speaker 1:So I want to thank everybody that's listened to the podcast for all of your support over the past three years, or, if you're a new listener, welcome. Thank you so much for being here. It is a joy for me to have this podcast and for me to share it with you all. All right, after all of that long introduction, we're jumping into season five with processing failure. We're talking about how we can experience failure, because here's the thing it's going to happen.
Speaker 1:Period Failure in my definition This is not my own definition, i got this from somewhere, but my working definition of failure is just unexpected results, right. So how do we process the emotions behind unexpected results? Now I'm talking about the person that has shown up and taken a lined, inspired action, whether it was going and going live on Instagram, signing up to volunteer at that local shelter, signing up for the pole dancing class, standing up in a meeting and sharing your own ideas, scheduling a private meeting with your boss, right, whatever it was that you showed up and you did, and you had a desired result in mind. You had a desired expectation in mind And, instead of getting what you want, you went into that meeting with that boss with your plan, feeling good, hyped yourself up, visualized it going through. The boss says no to your race, right? Or you visualize the ideal client.
Speaker 1:You've been getting on Instagram regularly, you've been doing the reels and hashtagging and you've been reaching out to people and commenting on other pages. And what do they say? Engaging, organically, right, truly right. That's what a lot of social media coaches will ask you to do is just go on other people's pages and go and say hello and whatever it is. So you've been doing the things right, and instead of you signing this one client that signed up for a call, they said no, they said that your prices were too high You launched the YouTube video and nobody's watched it but your mom and your three friends that you told about it, right? So this is when you've shown up and you've done the work And, instead of getting the result that you desired, expected and visualized, you got something else.
Speaker 1:You got an unexpected result. Here's what I'm going to offer. When we're trying to process failure And again, all that we want is a desired emotion, right? The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of it, and when we don't get what we want, we often feel the opposite. We want to feel empowered, excited, expansive, And when we get the opposite, or results we don't expect, we often feel embarrassed, annoyed, frustrated, hopeless, shut out. Right, because we're trying, why am I not getting the result that I want? Here's what I'm going to offer you.
Speaker 1:What can you take ownership for? I often when I'm in sessions with clients, well, war in the war. And then, before I say something like this, like your brain may not like this. This one might feel itchy. What can you take ownership for? Ann Stewart, your efforts can you take ownership for? The example that I like to use here is when I have the. It's so much fun that I'm celebrating five years of this coaching business in three years of the podcast, because five years ago, when I had my first event, nobody showed up. I hung the flyer, i told people about it, no one showed up. How can I process that failure? What could I have taken ownership for? What did I take ownership for? I took ownership for the fact that I did post on social media, but not to the effect that I could have, and I let my nerves I was new to coaching get the best of me and I did the bare minimum when it came to posting. I did have a flyer hung in the front window of the shop that I was hosting the workshop in, but there's definitely more that I could have done and I took ownership for that.
Speaker 1:That's how we don't get defeated by what life gives us. I like to think of them as little tests and little. Not tests that you can pass or fail. There's no pass or fail here, but little tests that help guide the universe to better assist you. And so if you are given a failure in my case, nobody showed up to that event I decided to take ownership for the fact that I hadn't done as much marketing as I could have or marketing with the energy that I thought was possible.
Speaker 1:I played small because I decided to transmute that moment and go upstairs and tell people in the shop I was hosting the workshop in the basement of it, of the basement of this local shop. I went upstairs and I took ownership for it. The little test there was are you going to give up? because I could have, in that moment where nobody's showing up, i've put this event together. I literally could have packed up my things and gone home and like, nope, i'm done, i'm not doing this, it's over, right. And that's what I mean by little test How bad do you want it? How bad do you actually want the thing that you say that you want? I had the option in. It would not have been bad or wrong to have left that day, to have walked out, decided no, this isn't for me, it's nobody showed up, it's all over. But no, i said, okay, what can I take ownership, for I am here. I made this hour to coach people. There's no one here, maybe I can coach someone. So I go upstairs and I just shake people's hands and I offer this girl a free coaching session.
Speaker 1:Some of you know the rest of the story. We coached and she didn't even sign immediately. It was a few months later. But a few months later she was my first client And I love that story because when I say little test, they're just options, right, when we get results that we don't want, it's an option to look at it, gain information and try again or decide. It's not for you And neither option is wrong. You just get to decide. You get to choose. Here's the second thing knowing your desired result is always available. What are you going to do with the information you have And so, believing that, regardless, i'm going to be a life coach and I'm going to help people? what I did was go upstairs.
Speaker 1:If you believe that your dream, your goal, the thing that you want, is available to you, even though it hasn't shown up the way you've wanted it to so far, what are you going to do now? Right, where is your belief? I want you to check in. I'd love to check in, have a mindfulness moment.
Speaker 1:You know, my working definition is awareness without judgment. We're going to be aware of the thoughts that we're thinking, that are influencing the way we feel, influencing the way we act, the action we're taking right Then therefore influencing our results. It all comes back to what we're thinking. So what are you thinking? What are you believing? Because a belief is just a thought. We think again and again What are you believing about your goal When you get an undesired result? what are you now believing about your goal? It's all over.
Speaker 1:I knew I couldn't do this. I knew it wasn't going to work out, i knew it wasn't cut out for this check in, and it's okay to have thought these things again. We're going to be aware of these thoughts without judgment. Where are you, though, in your belief about the thing, about the job, about the career, about the person, about going on vacation, about starting that Etsy store? where is your belief Right? the brain sometimes cause it's bruised, it's taking information. It wants to protect us says I did believe, i did believe and I didn't get the result that I wanted. So here's my Kochi 2 cents. So you're just going to stop believing now because it didn't work out.
Speaker 1:The first, second, third time, you're just going to stop believing. Now, again, this is why I love children. As an analogy, you go to an ice skating rink and you have some kids that have the little like they look like walkers, essentially on the ice And you have other kids that are just going free and they fall and they get back up, and they fall and they get back up. We're first learning how to walk. We're first first learning how to walk when we're little babies learning how to walk. We don't get it. The first, second, third time We're holding on to things, we're pulling ourselves up, we fall on our butt a lot, right, but we don't give up. Check in with your goals. Have you fallen down once or twice and decided this isn't for me? Here's the thing You can make that decision to it. I want to give you that option. That might be an alignment for you.
Speaker 1:I once started a flower business, first with a company called Alice's Table, which is still around. It's a fabulous business. It's essentially like paint and wine nights, but you do flower Arrangements. It's a fantastic model. It just was not for me. I hosted, i think, one party and that was it. It was like nope, not for me. I think I had three people at my first event. The flowers were beautiful, the setting was really lovely. I really love the intention of the experience and I actually learned a lot about creating bouquets and flowers. It was a great experience. But after hosting one party, i was like, yeah, that's not for me, that's okay, i also want to allow for that too. Check in.
Speaker 1:Maybe you did get a result that you didn't desire and you've tried this two, three times. Check in. Maybe there's parts of what you're doing that you do like. What parts of it do you like? What parts of it do you not like? I recognize in the flower business. I liked being an entrepreneur and I liked having my own business. I also liked being creative. I did not like having to bring buckets of flowers and water and tool and have to clean them afterwards and have to set up beforehand. That was not fun for me. I like doing that in my own house with my own flowers, but for a group of people, no, it was not fun for me. You have to check in with you.
Speaker 1:If this is something that you really want, if this is something that you deeply, truly desire, are you willing to feel the pain of rejection, of embarrassment, of shame, whatever it is that you're feeling and say I'm going to try again, maybe not in the same way, because our working definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result. That's from Einstein is the one that's quoted saying that. I don't know if that's actually an Einstein quote, but I love that quote. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result. So we're not saying do the same thing again and again. What I am saying, though, is, if it's something that you really want and it didn't work out the first way, the second way, where can you take ownership? What have you learned? What are you going to do differently the next time, affirming that you are going to get your desired result? If your desired result is to sign a client, then what are you willing to do differently next time? If your desired result is to get a specific position in your pole dancing class and you didn't get it this time, what are you willing to do next time? What are you willing to do in between class?
Speaker 1:If your desired result is to go on a date with somebody that truly wants to get to know you, your family, who you are, wants to celebrate you, loves to have conversations, wants to adventure. Where can you take ownership for how you've been dating, who you've been dating, what your profile looks like right And what are you going to do differently now? Taking ownership is tough Because the brain was like the rather the ego is like excuse. I don't know. I think I did everything right, i think we're good here. Sometimes our ego is very self deprecated. You don't do anything right ever. We don't want either end of the spectrum. We want just this openness where we can be aware, again, aware of our thoughts, without judging and check in. Are the thoughts that I'm thinking or the beliefs that I'm having in alignment with the goals that I have, with the desired results that I seek, or am I afraid to show up again because it hurt a whole lot when I didn't get the results that I wanted? I also want to throw out there that it's totally okay to take a break Highly advised taking breaks sometimes.
Speaker 1:I was working with a client once and the example that I used with her was Seasons in a Show, because she was having a hard time reconciling taking a break in her own business. She was a content creator, also a cook, a chef, cookbook chef, chef for a cookbook, cookbook chef. She was making a cookbook Author of a cookbook, and the season analogy that I used with her was that Seasons come to an end, right. Tv shows come to season ends And we're upset about it, right.
Speaker 1:Some part of us is like sad and oh my gosh, season's over. But there's also peace that comes with it and excitement for the next season, right? So, like, all of a sudden, we hate the show. I hate that show. I'm never gonna watch this show again. This show is stupid. No, and sometimes we do that to ourselves. We're like, if I take a break, people are gonna think I'm done and I'm inactive, or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Taking a break is okay, right. That gives us sometimes the space to look at what action we've been taking, to look at the beliefs we've been having and to take some time to marinate and decide. What am I going to do differently? What am I going to choose differently in my thoughts? How am I going to show up differently Again?
Speaker 1:if you believe your dream is possible, even though you didn't get the results that you wanted, what's next? What are you willing to do instead? How can you have a puzzle piece mentality? right? Puzzle piece mentality. Think about a puzzle. Think about a kid doing a puzzle too. They're getting frustrated because this piece is not fitting into the spot they thought it was gonna fit into. Is the puzzle broken? No, you know that. That kid just needs to keep turning that puzzle piece until it fits. And our dreams work the same way, right? Keep leaning into that part of you that wants to climb a mountain, that wants to start a foundation, that wants to quit your job and start a business, that wants to start a side hustle, that just wants to start going out more in general or learning how to cook, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Maybe you didn't get it the first time you tried. Maybe you didn't get your desired results the first time you tried. Are you willing to turn that puzzle piece again? Are you willing to try again? Are you willing to have a puzzle piece mentality? Here's another question for you.
Speaker 1:If everything is figure outable, how are you going to figure this out? You know I love me some more Ri or Leo. Everything is figure outable. Highly recommend that book. The question is if everything is figure outable, how are you going to figure it out? I truly believe. That's a mindset that I carry with me. Everything is figure outable. Everything is figure outable and, to be honest, if I'm going to give myself a little pat on the shoulder right here, i do believe that that's part of what makes me such a good leader. I truly believe that everything is figure outable and that we can find win-win solutions. I got that from Stephen Covey that we can find those win-win solutions. How are you going to find the win-win solution? How are you going to figure it out? if this is figure outable, the point is to take the next step. That's it. The point is to take the next step. You don't have to come up with this whole master plan of how you're going to make sure it works next time. No, you just need to take the next step.
Speaker 1:I want you to be careful of all or nothing thinking, that place where it's like I have to do it all over again or I can't do it at all. I have to complete this whole project, this whole YouTube channel, all at once, or I can't do it at all. How can you break it down? Make it by its size. The hope is that you get the results that you want next time, but you have to be willing to try. You have to be willing to try and you have to be willing to not get those results again. That's not what we're focusing on. That's not what we're trying to create. We have to be willing to fail.
Speaker 1:When I started this podcast three years ago, i had to be willing for nobody to listen to it. I had to be willing for me to just be talking to no one, absolutely, and I'm so grateful that we have over 9,000 downloads now and listen to in 70 plus countries. That's so exciting. But I had to be willing for nobody to listen to it in order to show up. I focused on people listening to it. I focused on value. I focused on showing up And when I didn't get the results I wanted maybe I got less downloads one week than another one. What I've been doing is taking that information. I went ahead and I looked at my top 10 most downloaded podcasts And what I'm doing is I'm starting to go back and I'm listening to them, and what I'm doing, as I'm listening to them, is trying to pull out nuggets that speak to me and think how can I go deeper with this? How can I take this the next level. Why does this matter? What is the chapter within this podcast episode that hasn't been unpacked? So I'm listening and I'm getting information of how can I improve this, how can I get even more downloads, reach even more people positively impact even more lives.
Speaker 1:But you have to be willing to be embarrassed, to feel shame for it to not go the way you want it to.
Speaker 1:Are you willing to try If you don't get the results that you want? are you willing to try something else? And here's this, the zinger question Do you want it or not? And that's not meant to bully anybody. It's meant for you to truly check in. Do I want this or not? Nobody's making you want to hit that position in your pole dancing class. Nobody's making you want to do that Etsy store. Do you want to do it or not? It's up to you and there's no right or wrong answer. You get to check in. You get to look and design your own life. Look and see five years out into the future. Who do I want to be? Where do I want to live in the world? How do I want to feel? How do I want to be spending my time? You get to decide that. You get to design that You get to design today, tomorrow, next week. It doesn't have to be five years in the future I really like to do five years in the future because it helps me to work backwards But you choose whatever time frame works for you and ask yourself do I actually want this or not? And make a decision and have your own back You all.
Speaker 1:I am so excited to be back for season five of the podcast. I hope that you're taking care of yourself, hope that you're loving on yourself. I hope that you are taking mindful moments to just ask what's the matter, how am I feeling? And ask yourself on a day-to-day basis, what do I want? And check in and make sure that the thoughts you're thinking and the actions you're taking are in alignment with what you want. If you want support with 101 Coaching, my Friends, my books are open. I'm taking new 101 clients. I also have some new workshops, so head over to the website nandikamillecom, click on events, see what upcoming events and workshops I have. Get in touch. Hello at nandikamillecom, i'll see you next week.