Feeling like you've been knocked down and unsure of what to do next? Don't worry, we've got your back! Join us for a heartfelt pep talk that will remind you that all emotions are valid and it's crucial to approach them with compassion. Discover how to shift your mindset by focusing on the emotions and experiences you desire, and learn how to take control of your life.
Diving deeper into the episode, we'll explore why taking action can be so challenging and how our brain is wired to protect us from embarrassment, isolation, and fear. Check in with yourself and ask if you're living on your own terms or someone else's. Learn how to practice feeling good ahead of time and believe that what you want is on its way to you. Finally, we'll discuss how to tune in to your inner voice, follow your heart, and regain control of your emotions. So grab your earbuds and let's embark on this uplifting and transformative journey together!
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Feeling like you've been knocked down and unsure of what to do next? Don't worry, we've got your back! Join us for a heartfelt pep talk that will remind you that all emotions are valid and it's crucial to approach them with compassion. Discover how to shift your mindset by focusing on the emotions and experiences you desire, and learn how to take control of your life.
Diving deeper into the episode, we'll explore why taking action can be so challenging and how our brain is wired to protect us from embarrassment, isolation, and fear. Check in with yourself and ask if you're living on your own terms or someone else's. Learn how to practice feeling good ahead of time and believe that what you want is on its way to you. Finally, we'll discuss how to tune in to your inner voice, follow your heart, and regain control of your emotions. So grab your earbuds and let's embark on this uplifting and transformative journey together!
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, life Coach Nandu Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go? Hello, hello, hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life Coach Nandu Kamil, and I'm so grateful to have you guys back for another episode This week. My friends, i'm just gonna rampage all over you, i'm just going to riff.
Speaker 1:
I actually have lots of different podcast episodes stacked up, but, as I was going to record them, what kept happening is I just kept getting tripped up on words, i kept getting frustrated, and so I paused and said all right, i'm not in the zone, necessarily, but here we are and I said let's do this thing, let's give it one more try. Something in me said what if you just got on and you just spoke from the heart? What if you just gave somebody a pep talk? that needs a pep talk right now. They've been going through a hard time. They're frustrated, they're feeling beat up. They don't know what to do next. What are some things that you could just offer them? Speaking from the heart, speaking from what I've learned over the years, speaking from who I be on a day to day basis, not using any notes, not having done any research, so this is what is coming up for me. My friends, as before I do anything else, i want to repeat and always affirm take what sticks to you on this podcast and leave the rest. If there's anything that ever comes up that doesn't resonate for you, it's not for you. Don't worry about it. This podcast is not about forcing any ideologies on anybody, forcing any mindsets or anybody telling anybody anyway they should live. I hope that you never hear me shooting on you in this podcast. That is not what we do here. It is about you coming home to yourself and discerning for you what is true, discerning for you what best serves you and your goals, your family and your alignment. So for the friend that's feeling frustrated, first and foremost, i want you to know that it's totally okay for you to feel frustrated. Your emotion is valid. You are allowed to feel mad. You're allowed to feel upset. You're allowed to feel whatever it is that you're feeling.
Speaker 1:
I think, sometimes, what happens is this emotion comes up and we want to run away from it, we want to shove it down, we want to make it go away, and again, that's logical, that makes sense, because it doesn't feel good, right When we're feeling fresh, when we're feeling depressed, when we're feeling anxious, when we're feeling annoyed, when we're feeling sad, when we're feeling hopeless. We don't want to feel this way. We're feeling mad, angry, whatever it is. We don't necessarily want to feel this way. Now, if somebody has pissed you off, then, yes, some part of you does want to feel this way, because you feel justified in feeling that way. They shouldn't have said blank. Because they said blank, i'm now justified to feel upset.
Speaker 1:
What I want to offer you, though, is, from a place of all emotions are welcome. What we want to do is shift as often as we can to the feelings that best serve us. So, while it's okay to feel frustrated and sad and upset and depressed, and whatever emotion it is that's coming up for you, what I want to offer is that we don't live here, that we notice it with compassion, because contrast helps us more clearly see what we do want. So when we're upset, don't be upset for being upset. See what is coming up more clearly that you do want. What's on the opposite side of that upset coin, what would leave you feeling joyful, what would leave you feeling excited, what would leave you feeling bold, empowered, excited. That's the next step. So notice how you're feeling, allow it to be there, and they get curious about why is there, but not from the place of why am I mad? why am I upset. If that serves you in that you can get a quick answer, then go there.
Speaker 1:
But really, i think what serves you instead is what do you want? What do you want? Here's a quote that I love. The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of it. So when I ask you what you want, what I'm really asking you is how do you want to feel? You can answer either question, and I want you to use them interchangeably. So if it's easier for you to answer the question of how do you want to feel, you might know right off the bat. I want to feel excited, i want to feel peace, i want to feel relaxed, i want to feel relief, i want to feel expansive, i want to feel confident. Great, notice that.
Speaker 1:
And then you get to play with a few different things here. A if what you want to feel is confident, the next thing I would encourage you to do is ask yourself what does it mean to feel confident? How does confidence feel in my body? How do I show up in the world if I'm feeling confident? Use this with any emotion If you want to feel happy. how does happiness feel in my body? How do I show up in the world when I'm feeling happy? Do my shoulders relax? Do I smile? Do I speak in a more jovial tone? What happens in my energy, in my physical body, when I feel the way I want to feel? That's one way, or one of the questions. Rather, i want you to ask yourself. Now, here's the other part that you get to ask yourself What is happening when I feel this way? Can you think back in times where you were feeling confident or joyful? What were some of the elements of the things that were going on in your life? What can you extract from those moments that you can bring into the present moment? So that's if you're working with feelings first, now if it's easier for you to get clear on what you want, instead of how you want to feel.
Speaker 1:
Maybe what you want is a boyfriend. You're very clear on that. I want a boyfriend. Why do you want a boyfriend? For a lot of reasons. The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we'll feel in the having of it. Baseline feeling is you're going to feel connected, loved, seen. There's going to be something in there. That's what you really want is to feel connected, loved, seen. There's some other things there, though. I want a boyfriend, i want somebody. That's where you get to play with visualization. I want somebody to hold my hand. Get clear on what that means for you. Stop being so. I guess you could be high level. There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:
I think it's fun, though, to get crystal clear on what you want. Now, this does not always mean it's going to come in the exact packages that you asked for. It's where we get to leave room for God in the universe. But if you can get clear on what you want, if it's available to you, why do you want a boyfriend? Because I want somebody to hold my hand in the grocery store. Because when I have a hard day at work. It's nice to have somebody at home to talk to about it, Because I want somebody that I can cook for. I really like to cook. I like cooking for myself And I like cooking for my friends, but I want to have a person to cook for, because I want a permanent travel buddy. This is somebody that I'm going to travel the world with. What are your specific reasons for what you want? And I want you to play with it.
Speaker 1:
Play with possibility And ask yourself This is regardless of how you started. If you started with how you want to feel or if you started with what you want, doesn't matter. But you get to then ask yourself do I believe that it's possible for me to have what I want The feeling and the circumstance, or just the feeling Right, because that's what you really want? But play with both, because guess what? You get to want the car, you get to want the house, you get to want whatever you want to want because you want to want it Right, and you get to feel the way you want to feel because you want to feel that way.
Speaker 1:
My question to you is do you believe that it's possible for you to have the thing that you want? Do you believe that it's possible for you to feel the way that you want? Do you feel like it's possible? but there's a but. I can be happy, but it's always really short lived. I can be joyful but it's always going to end. I can find a boyfriend, but he always turns out to be a poop head. I could start a business, but I bet I couldn't sustain it and build it to being $100,000 a year that I make on it Millions of dollars. You know sell thousands of books and be on the New York best time sellers list.
Speaker 1:
If I wanted to, it could never happen. Are you talking yourself out of it before you even try? This might be why you're feeling crummy. When we break our own trust with ourselves, that is, to to desire something sincerely but then tell ourselves we can't have it we're breaking our own trust. So no wonder you're not confident, no wonder you're not taking action. Why would you, if you don't trust yourself to fall through? Why would you if you don't trust the universe to support you? Why would you if you don't actually believe that it's possible? Or if you believe that everybody's gonna judge you? So why would you do that If your whole family's gonna judge you and it's gonna leave you feeling a crap. Why would you do it? Your brain is logical. I need you to please remember that your brain is logical and it's always trying to protect you. Your brain is logical and it's always trying to protect you. So stop beating yourself up. Stop beating your brain up. It is just trying to protect you. Your job is to see what is trying to protect you from. Most of the time, it's a feeling. Most of the time, our brain is trying to protect us from feeling stupid, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, feeling alone, feeling weird, feeling isolated. Why? Because you go way back.
Speaker 1:
We needed connection to thrive. We needed connection in order to survive. You needed the tribe in order to have access to food and water. It was necessary. Connection is wired into us. We need each other to survive, but in this day and age, i don't need your opinion to decide whether or not I have food or water or roof over my head, and that deep wiring gets in our way.
Speaker 1:
I'm afraid of breaking off connection with somebody. I want to be connected to that. That is deeply seated in us. We want to be connected, but if that can, if you're fear of disappointing somebody is keeping you from showing up. I need you to recognize that their disappointment is not going to keep you from paying your bills. Their disappointment is not going to keep you from living your life, unless you allow them to. And that has to be a decision that you get to make. You get to check in Am I living on my terms or am I living on somebody else's terms? And if you're living on somebody else's terms, this is not allowance to beat yourself up. It's an opportunity to check in.
Speaker 1:
Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. I'm going to be aware of the fact that I'm living by my mother's version of success. I'm not going to beat myself up for it, because, guess what? Mama's doing her best and she wanted to push this version of success on to you because she wanted you to be quote, successful. It was coming from a loving place, you followed her from a loving place and now you're in a place where it's like this doesn't serve me anymore and that's okay. That is totally okay.
Speaker 1:
What do you want instead? What do you want to feel instead? How do you want to feel instead? And do you believe it's possible for you to have that? Here's the part, again, where I want you to not wait on the better part your quote, better part to feel better. I want you to practice feeling good ahead of time. I want you to practice feeling accomplished ahead of time. I want you to show up as if it's already done. You've heard me say before show up as if it's already done. This is how we start to override the part of us that says I can't, it's too hard, but I've never, so what so? you've never. So what so? you have never.
Speaker 1:
Kids have never done all sorts of things and they are so confident. They've never walked for the first time. They've never tied the shoes for the first time. Some of them have never driven a car for the first time. They're all out there doing it. They're like I'm going to figure it out.
Speaker 1:
What are you going to try on for the first time? What are you going to try to figure out? What do you want to try to figure out? What is important to you? What do you want? And maybe you haven't asked yourself that question in a really long time. That's okay too.
Speaker 1:
Maybe you've been so locked in to just going through the motions and doing the things you've been doing and following the expectations that you've been following, because it works and it's safe and it's fine and it works and it's safe and it's fine. And you haven't actually asked yourself in a while what do I want? What do I want, what's important to me, what makes me come alive, what makes me so excited like a kid on Christmas, what brings me that kind of joy? When's the last time I asked myself that? And if you have not asked that in a while, that is okay. You get to ask yourself now what do I want?
Speaker 1:
And instead of waiting because we're going to believe that it's possible We're going to believe that what you want, once you tune, is on its way to you. We're going to continue to affirm that and we're going to show up as if it's already done. We're going to show up as if you already have the clients. We're going to show up as if you already are in a loving relationship. How would you be feeling about yourself if you were? How would you be showing up in the world if you were? We're already going to show up as if you're calling in that job and that you're about to get that promotion, and when we're getting results maybe that you don't want, when things don't look the way that you want them to, yet when you're knocking in the results that you want just yet, i want you to practice feeling good.
Speaker 1:
Anyway, you deserve to feel good, period. I want you to remember that. Tell yourself that I deserve to feel good, period. I deserve to feel good period. Why not? Why don't you deserve to feel good? Because if you hear a butt coming up in your brain and want you to pause this right now and check in what part of you is saying that you don't deserve to feel good, you never this, you don't deserve to feel good. Well, you have too much on your to-do list for you to feel good. Well, you haven't hit this goal yet, so you can't feel good. Well, you overdrafted in your account, so you can't feel good.
Speaker 1:
Tyler and I were talking about this the other day. He was frustrated and we were having a conversation and what came up was exactly this was like honey you, i think he's brilliant and I think he's accomplished so much, and of course, people outside of us can see that, but sometimes we can't see that, especially when we're high achievers and we're really going towards the next big goal. He's going towards this next big goal, and I caught him beating himself up and I was like. You do realize you can feel good on your way to the thing that we believe is going to make you feel even better. You don't have to wait till you get there to feel good. You don't have to beat yourself up to get there. Right Again.
Speaker 1:
Our brain, wanting to protect us, sometimes says well, if I beat myself up, then it's going to motivate me. I have to beat myself up into it or I have to shame myself into it. No, it's actually slowing you down. It's making you feel worse. It's making you focus on lack, and when we focus on lack and scarcity, when we focus on what's going wrong, when we focus on what's still in our way, when we focus on all the things we still have to do from a lack mentality, it slows us down. So I want you to give yourself a break. Maybe forgive your past self. Maybe you need to let go of everything in your past. Pretend that you were born today, at this age, and all that you have is the information that you need, and I mean that very clearly. All that you have is the information that you need Your mom's name, your dad's name, phone numbers, like that's all you need, the information that you need to build that business or to get to that next step. That's all you need. The doubt, you don't need that. Past mistakes, you don't need that. I love the. I love the quote don't look backwards. You're not going that way. Don't look backwords you're not going that way. Which way are you going And how do you believe you're going to feel when you get there?
Speaker 1:
Can you practice feeling that way Ahead of time, on purpose? Can you practice feeling joyful Ahead of time, on purpose? Can you practice feeling happy Ahead of time, on purpose? Can you practice feeling abundant Ahead of time, on purpose? Can you practice feeling connected to your audience Ahead of time, on purpose? Can you practice feeling like an expert in your field ahead of time, on purpose? What would it mean for you to be an expert in your field? What would it mean for you to feel confident? What would it mean for you to feel connected with your audience? Show up as if it's already done. Trust those inklings that come up as you lean in and you trust that consistently, you will build authentic confidence, trust plus consistency.
Speaker 1:
I hope that something or a few things served you in this episode. My friends, i'm so grateful that I listened to the part of myself that said try one more time. Just speak from the heart. Just give them what you know. Just give them a quick rampage. I truly hope that this served you. My friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. If you got something out of this, please share it with somebody that you love, some that you care about, some that you think would get something out of this, maybe a coworker, maybe a friend, maybe that one cousin. I hope you have a beautiful week. My friends, follow me personally at Naughty Kameel. Follow the podcast at the leave like a boss. Learn more about coaching at NaughtyKameelcom.