Has the fear of disappointment, failure, or messing up ever held you back from pursuing your dreams? It's a common and understandable fear, yet it's one we can overcome. Join me this week on Believe Like a Boss as we embark on a deep dive into these fears and unlock the power of mindfulness and awareness to overcome them. Discover how to break free from the 'comfortable discomfort' that keeps us stuck and learn to build belief in our abilities.
Through sharing my own personal journey - my venture into pole dancing and the unexpected life lessons it presented - we'll explore the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones and taking those daunting risks. I invite you to find inspiration in the way I chose to show up authentically and take action on my dreams. Together, we'll uncover how to find motivation, invest in our goals, and create a life that truly embodies our dreams.
Lastly, let me introduce you to our Lifestyle Design Group Coaching Course. This is where you will find actionable strategies, expert advice, and personalized guidance to help you design a life that reflects who you are. Join a supportive community of like-minded women who are committed to personal growth, share your progress, and find the motivation to stay on track. So, let's press play, get motivated, and take the leap in designing a life that truly represents your dreams.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Has the fear of disappointment, failure, or messing up ever held you back from pursuing your dreams? It's a common and understandable fear, yet it's one we can overcome. Join me this week on Believe Like a Boss as we embark on a deep dive into these fears and unlock the power of mindfulness and awareness to overcome them. Discover how to break free from the 'comfortable discomfort' that keeps us stuck and learn to build belief in our abilities.
Through sharing my own personal journey - my venture into pole dancing and the unexpected life lessons it presented - we'll explore the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones and taking those daunting risks. I invite you to find inspiration in the way I chose to show up authentically and take action on my dreams. Together, we'll uncover how to find motivation, invest in our goals, and create a life that truly embodies our dreams.
Lastly, let me introduce you to our Lifestyle Design Group Coaching Course. This is where you will find actionable strategies, expert advice, and personalized guidance to help you design a life that reflects who you are. Join a supportive community of like-minded women who are committed to personal growth, share your progress, and find the motivation to stay on track. So, let's press play, get motivated, and take the leap in designing a life that truly represents your dreams.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandu Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:
Hello, hello, hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life Coach, nandu Kamil, and I am so grateful to have you guys back for another episode. I have been doing some deep dive work internally. Y'all have you ever seen those videos, reels on Instagram where it's spiritual awakening? and lots of people have done this different ways. Some people will be like oh, what we think it's going to be, it's like frolicking through a forest or through a meadow or it's like meditating. And what it actually feels like it's not that it doesn't encompass that, but what it actually feels like is it feels like you're getting beat up. It feels like you are getting beat up emotionally. It feels like your faith is being tested. So it's like your spirit is being tested. Things that you used to believe, you don't believe anymore, things that you used to really hold onto, your ideas and ideals of success or whatever it was, are now being questioned and changed and challenged. And that's at least what I'm going through with my quote spiritual awakening. I think it just feels like a whole life awakening, lots of changes going on that are waking me up to some opportunities to step into the next version of myself and y'all. Oh, my goodness, it is uncomfortable and the best thing ever. At the same time And that's what I love about when I'm coaching clients and they are in a moment of just feeling frustrated or just stuck or tired or just over it, i smile, knowing that this is the moment where everything is going to change. So welcome to the podcast, my friends. Whether this is the first time you're listening to the episode, or listening to the podcast is your first episode, or you started from the beginning. I'm going to go over 130 something episodes now Welcome wherever you are coming from. If this resonates with you, i would love if you would give us a five star rating. This allows more people to find the podcast, allows me to reach more people. It is a goal of mine to become a top podcast. We were in the top. Oh, i don't want to misspeak. I want to say it was tough 50% last year. So I'm going for top 25% this year on Apple podcasts. So the more that you like and share it with people, the closer I get to that goal. I so appreciate it. And, my friend, if you resonate with this podcast and you are ready to schedule your discovery, call if you're ready to coach with me, please go to noddakamillecom, where you can either go ahead and just apply to be coached If you're just ready to jump right into coaching, or you can schedule a discovery call where we can get to know each other just a little bit more. If that is up your alley, all right.
Speaker 2:
My friends, this week what we're diving into is why you aren't taking your dreams seriously. I have three reasons for you as to why you might not be taking your dreams, that passion inside of you, that idea, that vision in your head, seriously, even though you want to, even though there's a part of you that wants it, that wants to grasp it, that believes that it's possible. How is it? Why, nadi? Why am I not taking action? Why am I not showing up for this?
Speaker 2:
I listen to the podcast, i go and I watch webinars, i go on YouTube, i'm following all these influencers and other business women that are just living their best lives, but I'm not taking action. I'm not doing anything. I just keep doodling in my journal about it, i just keep thinking about it, but I'm not taking any action. Why am I not taking my dreams seriously? Here's the first reason. No-transcript, it is scary AF. I'm trying to be child friendly. I try on this podcast. It is scary to go after what we really want, cause the women I'm talking to and the women I am talking about are women that want to live extraordinary lives. They're not looking for the norm, not looking to do what everybody else is doing. They're looking to do something different. They're looking to do something that maybe nobody else in their family has ever done. They're looking to do something that maybe they've never seen anybody else do, but it's on their heart. They want to do it.
Speaker 2:
I was working with a client We had discovered during our coaching calls that she wanted to be a spatial life coach, so that she wanted to bring together her interior design love and her love of coaching altogether to help people design spaces that resonated with who they are and how they're trying to show up in the world. That embodied who they are and how they're trying to show up in the world. So bringing that together right. It's scary to say out loud I want to do something that I've never seen before. I want to do something that I've never even done before. It's been put on my heart, but I've never done this thing before. She'd never been a spatial life coach before. She had helped people and she had designed her home and other people she knew in her lives beautifully, but she never put the two together to show up in that way to be a spatial life coach. Right, it's scary to believe in this thing that I've never seen before. Right, the brain says it's easier to believe in what I've seen, what I know and what others are already confident in.
Speaker 2:
That last one, i think, is especially true. I work with clients where it's their parents, it's their family members That's been me before too. Where it's mom, dad, brother, sister, it's their opinion that I'm afraid of hearing. I know that if I show up as a life coach, that I'm gonna hear some backlash, that they're gonna say what do you mean? you're a life coach? You don't have a degree in psychology, right? What do you mean? you're gonna help people get their finances together. I remember back in high school when you used to spend all of your money. Now, who are you to help people out with their finances? We hear all of these things from our past. We hear all of these things from our friends and our family, or we don't even hear it. Maybe they don't even verbally say it, but we already know our friends and our family and the culture that we come from, and we then make assumptions, we create stories in our brain, in their voice.
Speaker 2:
Let's say you couldn't do that anyway. Why would you do that? That's silly, that's not what you went to school for, right? It's the reason why, number one, you might not be taking your dreams seriously, you might not be taking action on it. It's because it's scary. Because it is scary And I love this one because it's honest.
Speaker 2:
Right, there's nothing deep about this, it's just scary. We don't wanna disappoint others, we don't want to fall in our face, right? Which? let me just go ahead into the second one, because let's unpack this deeper. The second reason why we don't take our dreams seriously is because we don't wanna be disappointed. We don't wanna be disappointed, we don't wanna fail, we don't want to mess up. If I'm gonna go out, you know what I'm saying In order to create something that you've never seen before, you have to go out in the world and do things you've never done before.
Speaker 2:
You have to be a version of yourself you've never been before. Right? What if I fail? The brain, looking at something unknown, says mayday, mayday. I don't know. And that's why I really love to pause, and that's why I love being a mindfulness-based coach with clients, because mindfulness is awareness without judgment. The brain says what if I fail? And instead of pausing on that question, we just say yep, mm-hmm, i might, so let's not. The brain is always trying to protect us. But if we can pause, we can ask a few questions there.
Speaker 2:
What does it mean to fail? You're over here projecting your failure before you even gotten started. But what does it mean to fail? Does it mean to not sign any clients? Does it mean to never sell a piece of artwork, a painting? Does it mean that you never actually speak on a stage, even though that's the one thing you wanna do?
Speaker 2:
What does it mean to fail? What does that mean without running away, without just agreeing yep, that's what's gonna happen. Shut it down, says the brain. Let's get curious. What would it mean to fail? What would it mean to mess up? What would it mean to be disappointed? All right, what would it mean to have other people be disappointed in me? What does that mean? Would just spend some time with it. And the question that I like to ask my clients is are you willing to have your back anyway. What does it mean to fail? It means that nobody shows up for the event. Okay, are you willing to show up for your dream anyway. What if nobody shows up for your event? And here's the thing that I love to play with, though, is we don't even. We don't spend time there. We notice, ah, the worst case scenario in my brain is that nobody shows up for the event. Great, how would that feel? Disappointing, frustrating, annoying. I'd spent time doing yada, yada yada I'd shown up.
Speaker 2:
It would make me feel sad. It'd make me feel like a loser. Great, right. How does that feel in your body? right, i might get curious about that. How does it feel in your body to feel like a loser? The brain is always trying to protect us, sometimes protect us, just from a feeling. Can you feel that feeling of being a loser in your body right now? The brain doesn't want to, but what would that actually feel like? Makes you feel small, makes you feel crummy. Alright, okay, great, you can feel that feeling. You can feel any feeling. I want to remind you that right now, you can feel any feeling.
Speaker 2:
But the beautiful thing about coaching is now we prepare for the best case scenario. What would you like to happen? is that a packed house? What do you need to do? How do you need to show up? What do you need to think? How do you need to feel in order to create the result of having a packed house? And then, how do you show up in alignment with that? How do you create energy that would have people want to show up, to learn from you, to gain value from you? What is so valuable about what you're doing that, of course, you would have a packed house, right, that's what we get to play with. And we go and we work to create that reality. And you know what, my friend, if it doesn't work out that way, are you willing to have your own pack anyway? Are you willing to show up anyway? Are you willing to work for the best case scenario? Excuse me, not that, not. I hate when we like.
Speaker 2:
What is that saying? Like, hope for the best, expect the worst, something like that? right, we're not going to do that. We're going to hope for the best, expect the best and know that we're going to have our own back if the worst happens, because our dream is available to us. Period, the end, right. And so the brains is. I don't want to be disappointed, i don't want to fail. I don't want to mess up.
Speaker 2:
Failure is a part of the process. In order to become a world renowned ice skater, you have to fall down on the ice. You have to. When we're learning to walk as children, we fall down. We don't say, oh, dumb kid can't walk. No, we think you're back up, we they're, of course they're going to walk, of course they're going to be fine, right.
Speaker 2:
And if, along the way, you find out that there's something else going on. Then you find tools to support the child where they are. Of course you will Right. So why don't we approach our dreams the same way? Of course I'm going to figure it out. It's having that puzzle piece mentality. I'm going to figure out how this puzzle piece fits, even if I have to turn it a few times. Regardless, i'm going to figure this out. I will be provided with the resources. It was placed in my heart, so it is going to be available to me in the world. Where are you showing up from Right, or are you showing up from the place? It's probably not going to work out. It's probably not going to work out.
Speaker 2:
I'm probably going to fail People are probably not going to get it.
Speaker 2:
It's probably going to be a waste of time. I probably can't afford to do it anyway. It's probably going to take up all my extra time. I'm already tired from my full time job already. It's probably not even worth it. Nobody's probably even going to buy. I'm a big loser. I'm too old, i'm too young.
Speaker 2:
How are you talking to yourself? Mindfulness, awareness without judgment. Get mindful, but don't judge the thoughts that you're thinking and just zoom out. Are these thoughts serving me, are these thoughts supporting me, taking my dreams seriously, or are they the reasons that I'm not? And we're not going to judge it. We're just going to meet ourselves where we are. Here's the third reason that you might not be taking your dreams seriously. You might not be taking action.
Speaker 2:
You don't want to look stupid. You know what looks stupid Makes sense, right? What is the brain train to protect us from here? Looking dumb I don't want to look dumb Makes sense. I work with boss women. We are smart, intelligent women, very smart, very thoughtful, and in that take the time to make sure we present ourselves that way. So it's scary when we go to do something new because I don't want to look dumb. It's not that we're not willing to be beginners, it's that I don't want to sit here and be a beginner and try the things and it not work out and I look dumb. I don't want to go all in and look stupid. I don't want it to not work out. I want it to work out Beautiful. Well then, we focus on that, that it's going to work out. And who do you need to be and how do you need to think And how are you going to show up in a way that is in alignment with it working out? What does it mean for it to work out? I think too. Sometimes we're just afraid of being vulnerable. If I just go out there, i'm going to be vulnerable. I'm going to be showing this part of myself that I'm still getting to know, that I'm nervous about, but that I love and I want other people to love. That's OK. Are you willing to show up, take your dreams seriously, with that piece of vulnerability, with that nervousness with you, and the chances are that you won't look stupid?
Speaker 2:
I want you to think about the people in the world that you admire. Whether it's, i don't know, i'm not even going to put people in your brain. Who is it that you admire. Who is it that when you go on social media, you seek out their content? Why is that? Chances are there have been times, or multiple times, where it's their whole channel, where they are vulnerable, where they share what's going on in their heart.
Speaker 2:
Some people, it's all of the time You get to decide for your brand and your business. For some people, they share their heart all of the time, their personality and their personal life all of the time. For some people, it's every once in a while. But you notice that those people that you love and you follow, when they do that, you feel more connected to them. You feel like they see you and showing a little bit more of them.
Speaker 2:
But somehow, when it gets to us, we're like no, no, no, no, no, i can't do that. I would look stupid. No, no, no, no, no, i couldn't do that. People are going to think I'm dumb. And here's the thing the people there are people in the world who might think you are going to look dumb. Those are not your people. Stop worrying about those people. Those are not your people. That's not who you're selling to. Those are not the people that are hopping on the brand right? Don't worry about those people.
Speaker 2:
Also, one thing that I kept my entire coaching career that I got at the beginning was people that are on their way up, people that are up leveling their own lives, who are doing the work right, as Bernay Brown says who are in the arena, are not going to make fun of you on your way to the top. They don't have time to do that. They're working on themselves, they're working on bettering themselves And as they look around, they're supporting others. They're not tearing anybody else down. So if you are afraid of the people who are going to tear you down A, those are not your people. B I mean, really think about. Do you care about the opinion of somebody who's going to spend their time tearing you down? Like no?
Speaker 1:
I don't want to.
Speaker 2:
It's not a person that I'm going to value their opinion. No, thank you. And that's different than asking for someone's opinion, asking for someone's constructive criticism or feedback. That's different, right? So I'm going to do that again.
Speaker 2:
Here are the three reasons that you might not be taking your dreams seriously, ie taking action on your dreams. One it's scary. You're just stuck in fear. It's scary, it just is. I don't want to, i'm afraid, right, and so fear. When you think about that neurologically, what it can do is it can start to trigger our fight, flight or freeze response. And then there's another one that's called fawning right, and my job as a coach is to keep you out of that fight. Fight or freeze Fight. Is this really defensive place, like? no, i don't need to anyway, i'm fine, like. But you know deep down That you're not going off your dreams, right? You're just really defensive that that can be a version of fight right, flight is you're running away from it, whether it's the relationship, the conversation with your boss to give you a raise, the conversation with your boyfriend about the thing That's bothering you?
Speaker 2:
flight, i'm avoiding it. Right, freeze. You're just not gonna say anything, i'm just just shutting it down, just not even, just can't even, i am overstimulated already. Shutting it down, not taking any action, nope, just a nope. That's when we're in depression. That's when we're just sweats every day, all day, and not from a cute, fashionable place, but from a like I have no energy, i don't care, it's not working out anyway. That's freeze, right. And finding is where we're just like People pleasing and doing things that don't serve us and it's just to the detriment of ourselves. Right, when we get caught in that, it's we're protecting, we're surviving. What I want is for you to get out of that space. We're in fight, flight, freeze. Font response We cannot be in our prefrontal cortex, we cannot be in the creative thinking part of our brain.
Speaker 2:
The two don't work. So my job is to help you stay in this place of belief, of joy, of excitement. This doesn't mean joy all of the time. This does not ever mean joy all the time. That is not possible.
Speaker 2:
It's not what this podcast is about, but it is when I notice that I'm upset, when I notice that I'm afraid, when I notice that I'm frozen to notice it, to get mindful about it. What am I thinking right now That's causing this feeling? How am I feeling right now, instead of running away from the feeling and beating yourselves up for feeling the feeling? How am I feeling? What is the feeling that I'm having right now? What am I experiencing? It's okay that I'm experiencing it. I'm a human being on the planet. I experienced all the emotions. I'm alive. Bravo body for being alive, giving me a signal something is going on. What's going on? And how do I want to feel instead, for the women that I work with, most of the time that we're feeling crummy, frustrated, anointed, upset. The bulk of it is because we're not showing up as our authentic selves and we know what that means to us. Whether that's a person that joins that book club, or it starts the new leg of the business or charges more for our prices, right, whatever it is, you know what it is for you and you know if you're sleeping on you. It's that itch, it's that itchy piece of us. I don't even think I got through the three, okay. So again here the three It is scary. I think I got through the first one. It is scary and it's okay. If it's scary again, it's totally fine, but I don't want you to be stuck there.
Speaker 2:
Reason number two is you don't want to be disappointed, you don't want to fail, you don't want to mess up. So the brain says why try, why even do anything? I have more belief in my ability to fail, to tank this idea that I have that I have in my ability to see it soar. Right, what would need to happen in order for you to believe that your dream could soar, that it could happen? I mean, just check in, get curious.
Speaker 2:
Here's the third reason. It's because you don't want to look stupid. You don't look stupid. Therefore, you don't want to feel stupid. It's like nah, i don't want to really risk that. I want to feel that emotions.
Speaker 2:
I'm just gonna stay here and what I like to call comfortable discomfort, right here, my comfortable life, that's just Discomfortable enough. That's not a word, but uncomfortable enough. But it's not uncomfortable. If you know that area, i've been there before. It's like you know you're sleeping on yourself, but you're you're. What you're doing is fine. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Right, it might have been the. You maybe have a job in the place that you guys agree and it's fine. Right, it's fine and people are happy and it's fine. But you're not excited, right? You're not waking up every day Ready to do the thing. And let me tell you, as a business owner, i don't want to do all the things all the time. No, i don't. I just realized I needed to make some updates to my coaching Agreement that I send to clients, because it's from 2019 and Every single time I go in there, i have to make all these little edits. I was like why don't I just do a master edit of the whole thing so I can just start to send it off? Right, there's little teeties, things I don't want to do, and When I think about who my best self is, it is What I'm doing now helping women, helping women show up, helping myself show up. Like I said at the beginning of the podcast episode, i'm going through my own growing pains, but I'll have to tell you guys about later. I, but I am so excited to be going through these growing pains.
Speaker 2:
It's like going to the gym, you know, when you're first getting introduced to that relationship, it's kind of like eh, there's this deeper part of you. That's like I can do it. I can go regularly, move my body, run, get on the cycling machine, the cycling machine, the bike, go to whatever it is for you. I can do that. But at first it's like it's just this idea and it, and it takes effort to get your gym back together to sign up for the membership, to go to the gym, to sign up for the personal trainer, to get that, that, that regimen, that routine in, to lift those weights.
Speaker 2:
It's uncomfortable and it's an alignment And that's all I'm asking for for you. If, if, that's an alignment for you, for the woman I coach, it is to do things that are are like lifting heavy weights, but in alignment. Not for the sake of lifting heavy weights. I don't want you to go and lift heavy weights. When you want to go and pull dance, right, i need you to do what's in alignment for you. But whether you're pole dancing or lifting heavy weights, it's going to be difficult at first, all right. So the metaphor there for anybody that got lost is to A listen to what is true to you and B do not be afraid. When it's uncomfortable, right, i might want to.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to use pole dancing because I love it. I love pole dancing and it is hard when I go in there. First of all, it was hard to be half naked in a room full of women other women, yes, and no, being having a background in dance. The half naked part wasn't that bad, but half naked climbing a pole, it's like what Oh my gosh, okay. And then being upside down in the way they want you to move your legs And there's this upper body strength component that I was not ready for And it's hard And I've slipped and I felt so awkward walking around in high heels. But I'm naked at the same time. I mean not actually naked, you guys. We were like a sports bra and booty shorts, but it's hard, right.
Speaker 2:
And I had to decide to go to the studio. I had to decide to sign up for the membership. I had to decide to go weekly to classes and challenge myself, to try on new things. I had to get new pieces of clothing. I had to get booty shorts that I didn't own. I had to get other things that made me feel sexy. I found heels in my closet that I hadn't worn in years. Right, it took effort and it was a hundred percent in alignment with the women that I'm calling in, the woman that I see in my brain, my best self.
Speaker 2:
I want that for you. If that's what you want for you, always check in with you, my friend, and, as always, take what sticks to you and leave the rest. If something here doesn't resonate, do not worry about it, please. I just want you to take your dreams seriously. I want you to take your dreams so seriously.
Speaker 2:
I was listening to a podcast I'll leave you guys with this this morning And the host was talking about how children believe in Santa Claus and how it's just such this beautiful, fruitful part of childhood because you believe so deeply in this thing And if you didn't believe in Santa Claus, maybe you had the tooth fairy, we had something else, but that now my brain is like, uh-oh, i probably should have warned parents that are listening to this Heads up. Parents, we're going to be talking about some of our made-believe friends, but when you're that age and you're listening and you're believing in that just this, you have no proof. You have no proof. When I was a child going to church, we were told to believe that Jesus walked on water fed thousands of people turned water into wine, you know, helped Moses spread the sea, and whether you believe that those are just hyperbole or if they're real, the point was that you were meant to believe in these things that you had no proof for, and what I would love to offer is that you could have that same level of belief in your dreams, in the things you feel so called to do and the things that you see in your mind's eye, in your heart's, in your dreams, that that is available to you. Could you have that same sort of faith and belief, like you did in Santa Claus, like you did in a tooth fairy, like you did in the? maybe when you were a little, you thought you're going to be a superstar. I did. I thought I was going to be like a pop star, like Britney Spears. I really did. Can you have that same sort of belief? Can you still have that same sort of belief? And trust me y'all, there's a tiny bit of me that's like maybe I still could. It's still possible, right, why not? But I want you to have that same level of belief in your dreams. All right, my friends, take what's next. You leave the rest. I love you all so much. I'll see you next week.
Speaker 2:
Are you ready to take action on your dreams and connect with like-minded women who are doing the same? Well, you're in luck. I'm excited to introduce you to our Lifestyle Design Group Coaching Course. In this course, i offer you the tool, support and guidance you need to turn your dreams into reality, whether it's starting your own business, pursuing a passion project or finding fulfillment in personal life. This course is designed to help you make it happen. Imagine being a part of a community of like-minded women who are doing the same thing as you are on that same journey as you. You'll have the chance to connect, share experiences and learn from each other. It's a powerful way to surround yourself with positivity, inspiration and motivation.
Speaker 2:
Here's what you can expect from the Lifestyle Design Group Coaching Course Actionable strategies I'm going to provide you with proven techniques and strategies to overcome obstacles, set meaningful goals and create an action plan tailored to your dreams. Expert advice As your coach, i'm going to be there every step of the way, offering personalized guidance and accountability to keep you on track. And a supportive community. I want you to connect with this group of like-minded women who are committed to personal growth and pursuing their dreams. Share your progress, exchange ideas and find the support you need to stay motivated. So if you're ready to break free from the ordinary step into your power and create a life that truly reflects who you are, this course is for you. Don't let your dreams to his dreams. Take action now To join our Lifestyle Design Group Coaching Course and embark on this transformative journey. Visit our website at nadicamillecom slash lifestyle design. Spaces are limited, so don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in yourself and your dreams. Again, that's nadicamillecom slash lifestyle design. Early word pricing ends July 21st.