Welcome to a transformative conversation on Believe Like a Boss, where we're about to break down the barriers of discomfort, vulnerability, and setbacks. Ever looked back at your life and felt that sinking feeling of unmet expectations? Or perhaps you've found yourself spiraling down the rabbit hole of past missteps, unable to move forward. This episode is here to change the narrative.
As your host, I, Nandi Camille offer an empowering roadmap to navigate these unsettling emotions. Together, we'll decode the signs of self-neglect and unravel the traps of dwelling on the past. We'll venture into the realms of mindful self-awareness and celebrate every bump and turn on the road towards our goals. This episode will guide you towards standing tall in your power, even when the tides are against you. Get ready to embrace the beauty of vulnerability, the art of graceful growth, and the strength that lies in self-reflection. Join us on this journey to becoming your best self, one step at a time.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Welcome to a transformative conversation on Believe Like a Boss, where we're about to break down the barriers of discomfort, vulnerability, and setbacks. Ever looked back at your life and felt that sinking feeling of unmet expectations? Or perhaps you've found yourself spiraling down the rabbit hole of past missteps, unable to move forward. This episode is here to change the narrative.
As your host, I, Nandi Camille offer an empowering roadmap to navigate these unsettling emotions. Together, we'll decode the signs of self-neglect and unravel the traps of dwelling on the past. We'll venture into the realms of mindful self-awareness and celebrate every bump and turn on the road towards our goals. This episode will guide you towards standing tall in your power, even when the tides are against you. Get ready to embrace the beauty of vulnerability, the art of graceful growth, and the strength that lies in self-reflection. Join us on this journey to becoming your best self, one step at a time.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, live coach, nandhi Kamil, and, as always, I'm so grateful, thankful and excited to have you here for another episode, just to have this platform, to have another week to pour into. You all to do what I love. Thank you so much for coming back. If you're new to this podcast, welcome to the podcast. I met some friends Last week I hosted Women Wonderland with. I'm an ambassador of the Denver Beauty Boost. Beauty Boost itself is this organization that is throughout the United States, so if you're a boss woman, see if there's a chapter in your area. There's a chapter here in Denver, and this past Wednesday I was the host of Women Wonderland, which was an entrepreneur panelist or panel, and so I was interviewing the panelists, which is such a joy. This is the second year that I've done this and it's so much fun just to be in that room, be with other entrepreneurs, be in this space of supportive energy, and while I was there, I made some new friends. So if you're a new friend that found me there, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad that you're listening.
Speaker 1:
I got to tell a few friends about the podcast and it was really cool for me at the time too, because somebody asked me they're like oh, how long have you been doing it? How many episodes do you have? To be honest, I don't know how many episodes I have. I could go into Buzzsprout and there's a statistics, a stats button that would tell me. But we're in season five and they asked me how many episodes are in each season and I was like, well, there's around 20 to 30 in each season. I think some are maybe up to like 33 episodes, some are as little as maybe 21 episodes. But then their eyes got big. They were like, oh my gosh, you've been doing this for a while. And it was such a humbling moment for me of like, yeah, actually I have.
Speaker 1:
I've been showing up for myself, I've been showing up for my clients, I've been showing up for my audience, I've been showing up for my dream through this podcast for a while now. And I am truly I mean it every single time when I go on the podcast and I say I'm so grateful, thankful and excited to be here for another episode. I mean it because we are five seasons in and I enjoy. Now let me say this I enjoy this, and there are days that I don't want to do this, but what I'm proud of is that I've shown up regardless, that I've shown up for my future self, that when I started this three years ago, I didn't know what the future was. I didn't know how many episodes I was going to do. I was just doing it because I felt called to do it. But I just feel proud of myself for continuing to do it here five years later, that it still feels an alignment, that it still feels like fun, that I've been able to help so many people through this podcast, through this avenue, for so long. It's such a gift. It is such a gift. So thank you Again. If you are an OG listener, if you are a new listener, thank you for being here on Believe Like a Boss or listening to Believe Like a Boss this week. My friends were talking about it's okay not to be okay. It is okay not to be okay.
Speaker 1:
I think this one came up for me because we're in the arena rather the end of 2023. It is October. We're moving towards the end of the year. We have October, november, december. There are three months left.
Speaker 1:
We're in our last quarter and I think what happens often is when we're in this last quarter, especially as entrepreneurial women, creative human beings on the planet, we're really evaluating ourselves at this point in the year. We might be hustling a little bit harder to reach some goals. We might feel a little bit overwhelmed at the fact that now the holiday season is coming up, so we're balancing maybe a full-time job with your side hustle, with family, or maybe just your business, your career with your life, knowing the holidays are coming up, whatever it is. But often when we come to this part of the year, our energy gets shaken up for one reason or another. We haven't hit the goal that we thought we were gonna hit. We're looking at the New Year's resolutions we set at the beginning of the year. We're realizing, oh, I hit like one of these right, or half of them, whatever it is. And so what I wanna offer you all in this episode is A take the pressure off, but B.
Speaker 1:
What I wanna talk about specifically is it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay if you thought that you would have made $20,000 in your business this year and you made five. It's okay if you thought you were gonna make the 100K mark this year and you did it. It's okay if I've talked to actual several people this week where their goal has been this week this year, where their goal has been a million dollars in business, or to meet the person of their dreams this year, or to start the business this year, or to start a new leg of their business this year, and they have either fallen short of that goal, haven't hit that goal, or maybe have not even started on that goal. It's okay to be frustrated about that. It's okay to be annoyed right now.
Speaker 1:
What I wanna talk about, though, is how we navigate setback, how we navigate seasons of frustration, doubt, sadness, whether it's because you and your significant other broke up, it's because you tried something and it didn't work out, it's because you lost somebody in your life, it's because you're going throughout tough season in one of your relationships. Whatever it is, right now you're just noticing I am not okay. I am not okay. I'm not upset, I'm sad, I'm not okay. I have a few questions that I'm gonna ask you, as always. Two things here. Take what's six to you, leave the rest. If it doesn't resonate, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:
The second thing is this is a mindfulness based podcast. I'm a mindfulness based coach. So everything that we're talking about and the way that we're gonna go about this is mindfully Right. We're gonna look at our thoughts with awareness, not judgment. We're gonna look at the way that we're thinking with awareness and kindness and compassion, because our thoughts are influencing the way we feel. The way we feel influences the action we take. The action we take is influencing the results that we're getting.
Speaker 1:
And so if, right now, the result that you're getting is that you're feeling sad, or if the feeling that you're continuing to have is that you're sad, frustrated, annoyed, I have two questions for you to start. The first one is how does your best self respond to setback and hardship when you think? In this, you can use somebody else as an example as well, but when you think about your best self, who maybe had a tough day, how does your best self respond to a tough day Versus? Here's the second question how does your worst self respond to setback and hardship? Setback and hardship is going to happen. That's what I want to be clear Setback, hardship, hard things happen in life period and our we don't have control over that necessarily, but we do have control over ourselves, our thoughts, our actions, how we respond, and so, when I'm thinking through these two questions for myself, this is what came up for me when my best self is not okay, right, how does my best self respond to setback or hardship?
Speaker 1:
She goes for a walk, she recites her affirmations, she might recite scripture. I pray, I move the energy in my body. When I am operating out of my best self, right, and I'm enduring hardship, this version of me does not ignore the hardship. We don't shove it down. We go for a walk, we move our body, we pray, we move the energy. I stay awake to it, I stay mindful. I ask myself questions like why are you feeling right now? Be honest, what are you feeling right now? Feel sad, I feel upset. Why do you think you're feeling that way? Because this person talked to me in this way and it made me feel this right. Walk through it, but come back to bringing your power back to you.
Speaker 1:
This is not about blaming others, right? When we blame others, we put the responsibility in their hands. When I am operating out of my best self, when setbacks happen, when hardships happen, I remain in my place of power. I don't blame other people. I say what is my responsibility in this? Let's go to the other side when I'm operating out of my worst and truly you all. I want you to get out of piece of paper, get your journal out and spend a few minutes writing this down. I did this and that's exactly what I'm reading right now. I'm reading from my notebook my worst self.
Speaker 1:
When I am operating out of my worst and hardship happens or setbacks happen, I'm ruminating, I'm spiraling, I'm obsessing about the thing that went wrong, trying to make it right, when I cannot go back into the past and do that. All I have control over is the present moment and the future. So going and spiraling about it again and again and again, thinking about it, what I could have done differently. Now let's pause there. You can think about what you could have done differently, right. But if it's not something you can apply to the present or the future, it doesn't serve you. If you're going back and saying I should have done this and I should have done that, that doesn't serve you. But if it's okay, the next time we have a discussion and they speak to me this way, I would like to respond in that way. That is productive. That's the differentiation I wanna present that there's nothing wrong with reviewing what might have happened. Somebody didn't buy a package that you sold. You went to your boss to ask for a raise and they said no, you're having a tough conversation with somebody that you really care about and it didn't go well. To go back and think about what you might do differently serves us if it's something that you intend on applying to the present or to the future, but not if you're shooting on yourself.
Speaker 1:
So my worst self is spiraling, ruminating, obsessing about things that they can't change. My worst self, when I'm in set pack or hardship, is numbing. I'm scrolling on Instagram. I'm shopping on Amazon. I'm scrolling on Pinterest. That's me. How do you numb? What are the ways that you procrastinate, that you buffer, that you numb? Those are all interchangeable words. How do you avoid what's going on? That's what that means.
Speaker 1:
Right, when I am not operating out of my best and set back happens, I'm numbing, and that's how I know I'm not operating out of my best. These are my cues. The other cues that I have are that I isolate. As I'm reading this to you all, check in. Do any of these resonate with you? Are you a person that, when set back happens and you're not taking care of yourself, you ruminate or you numb or you isolate. Isolate meaning I will not talk to any of my friends, the people that are there to help me, to support me, to lift me up, to hear me. I will isolate if I'm not taking care of myself and I'm not operating out of my best health.
Speaker 1:
When set back happens, I isolate, I don't tell anybody, I don't want to burden anybody. My brain says, oh, I don't want to burden them. But if those are my friends and they are my closest friends, my sister, my best friends, they want to be there for me, they want to hold space for me. That is part of the job that we sign up for, at least for me and my friendships, that I'm gonna be there to hold space for you when it gets hard, when it gets tough, because that's what I've signed up for and, conversely, that's what they've signed up for with me. That's what they're there for. It's not the only thing they're there for is hardship. They're there for the fun stuff too. But to lean into my resources when I'm operating out of my worst, that is a cue that I'm not operating out of my best. My best self, when I run up against hardship, reaches out to her resources. I reach out to my best friend tell them what's going on. When I'm not operating out of my best, I'm isolating.
Speaker 1:
The last one, under my worst self was I put, falls asleep. It's the opposite of staying awake, staying mindful. That's going into the numbing, that's going into the shopping, that's going into scrolling on Pinterest. It just falls asleep. I just want to ignore it, right? I don't want to confront it, I don't want it to see it. I don't want to look at it, because if I look at it, then it makes it real. If it's real, I got to deal with it, right? So that's why they fall asleep. These are my lists.
Speaker 1:
What about you? What do you notice when you are not taking care of yourself? How do you respond to setback versus how does your best self respond to setback? And this is where I say you can use somebody else as an example. If you feel like you have not built the muscle of bouncing back from setback in a way that is healthy, that you bounce back quickly. Who in your life do you feel like does this? Who in your life bounces back from setback quickly, and what do you think it is that they do? So we get to borrow beliefs. This is where we get to mindfully use tools that we're seeing around us. Okay, this person I see that she goes for a walk. I see that she goes dancing. I see that she torques it out. I've been telling people that recently not a joke If I'm feeling anxious lately I've been torquing, I kid you not. Even if I have to go to the bathroom and torque in the bathroom by myself, I kid you not.
Speaker 1:
I now know I've watched my body. I've been mindful about who I am, how I show up, what are my bodily cues? I work on this with clients too. What are your bodily cues to tell you that I'm not okay? Does your throat get tight? Does your chest get tight? Do your cheeks get flushed? Does your breath shorten? Are you taking more shallow breaths? What are your cues that you're not okay? Are you noticing those cues and are you doing the work to bring yourself back to a place of alignment? Or are you like on my worst self list, remaining spiraling, isolating, falling asleep to what it is?
Speaker 1:
My intention here is for us to be mindful, aware, without judgment, being aware of how we're showing up when setback happens and checking in. Do I like the way that I am showing up when setback happens, or are there some habits that I would like to change? Are there some things that I wanna shift? That, instead of scrolling on Instagram when I get upset, that I'm gonna go to my journal. That, instead of ruminating and spiraling in my brain and just replaying the thing over and over that, when I notice myself spiraling, that, when I notice myself playing it over and over again, I choose in that moment no, thank you. I choose in that moment I'm not going to think this thought anymore and instead of trying to think a new thought because that can be hard when you have old thought that's playing it again and again I'm gonna choose to move my body. I'm gonna go for a walk. I'm going to, like I said, quote I'm going to pray. I'm going to say my affirmations.
Speaker 1:
I did this the other day. I caught myself in a moment. I was getting upset, I was starting to spiral. That was one of my cues and I noticed that, oh, nandi, you're just getting more upset right now. These thoughts are not serving you. What might serve you instead? And I went straight to my affirmations. I am supported, I am loved. The universe conspires to support me. I am safe. I am a boss. I just went to town saying my affirmations and I repeated them. And I repeated them because this is who I want to be, this is what I want to embody, not this scarcity, not this fear. And again, I want you to check in. My affirmations are not meant to shove other things down. I was not trying to shove down the fear. I was not. No, I was just in a moment of. This doesn't serve me. These thoughts that I'm thinking again and again are making me feel crappy. They're making me feel sad. I do not wish to think these thoughts anymore. I'm going to replace them with these thoughts instead. That's where I want you to be, and only if it feels good for you to do that.
Speaker 1:
I work on bridge thoughts with clients, in that there is one where we're working on confidence, and I can't remember the affirmation I gave her verbatim, but it was something along the lines of making friends is easy, and so when I gave her that affirmation, she was like ooh, I don't really know if I feel that one, that one feels too foreign to me, that one does feel like a lie. So we came up with a bridge thought instead. It is possible for making friends to be easy is the way we shifted it. When you're saying your affirmations, when you're saying what you want to affirm, make sure you believe it. When I started saying those affirmations of I am a boss, I am supported, the universe conspires to support me, I fully believe those affirmations and so I want you to find the words that you believe it is possible for me to believe that the universe conspires to help me. It is possible for me to be strong. It is possible for me to be confident. It is possible for me to be sexy. Right? For a lot of my clients I'll toss that one out there your affirmation is I am sexy, and that is hard for them to embody at first, so we play with other bridge thoughts, right? I love my body. I love that my body takes care of me. When you're saying those affirmations, when you're affirming what you want, just make sure it's something that you truly do believe.
Speaker 1:
I digress the whole little mini podcast that are on affirmations. The last question I have for you today on it is okay not to be okay is how do you want to respond to setback and hardship? We identified how you might be showing up when you're operating on your best when you're taking care of yourself, and we've identified how you operate when you're showing out of your worst, when you aren't taking care of yourself. Here's the third one is how do you want to respond, based on what you see in the world, based on what you've observed of yourself, when setback happens, how do you want to respond? How do you want to respond? My guess I'm gonna offer this to everybody my guess is that you wanna feel what you feel, right?
Speaker 1:
My guess is that when something bad happens in your world, it's not that you wanna ignore it and just be so resilient that it doesn't bother you at all, but that you can process those emotions in a way that's healthy and productive. That you can process setback in a way that doesn't leave you stuck. You can process hardship and adversity in a way that allows you to learn from every moment, from every setback, from every hardship. That everything that you're given can be used. Almost like the energy that comes up for me is composting. That you can take all of that crap that happens in your life, you throw it into this energetic compost pile, you stir it up and you make it into this beautiful soil that feeds your garden, that feeds your life? Right? Can we compost the crappy moments in our life? That's what I'm gonna leave you all with today. Right?
Speaker 1:
How do we start to show up has our best selves more often when things that we don't want to happen in life happen, because they will? How do you wanna show up when the hard stuff happens? What does it mean to be proud of yourself in a moment of toughness? Right? How does your best self respond to adversity? Get really clear on that for you.
Speaker 1:
And then, if there's some growing pains or some practice that needs to happen to become a person that doesn't yell when a setback happens or doesn't constantly ruminate, give yourself that grace to become that next version of yourself. It will not happen overnight. You have narrow pathways that are built that are gonna take some time for you to think some new thoughts and to act in new ways. So give yourself grace if you're not showing up the way you want to in setback, if you're not as confident, if you don't bounce back as quickly as you would like to take the pressure off. Get clear on what you want and congratulate yourself for taking the time Not everybody takes the time to see.
Speaker 1:
Okay, this is what I'm like at my worst. This is what I'm like at my best and this is how I wanna show up, and these are the steps I'm gonna take to get there. Not everybody does that work. So bravo to you for showing up, bravo to you for paying attention to the things you want to change, and bravo to you to being mindful, aware, without judgment, of who you are and who you're becoming. I love you all so much. I'll talk to you next week.