Breaking Free from Analysis Paralysis: Overcoming Fear and Getting Unstuck
Oct 16, 2023Season 5Episode 18
Nandi Camille
Stuck in the paralysis of analysis? It's time to break free and face the fear that's been holding you back. This episode serves up some tough love, as we confront the barriers that prevent us from achieving our dreams and how inaction can sometimes be the biggest cause of depression. We'll chat about the importance of moving forward, even when the outcome isn't guaranteed, and why taking the first step is more valuable than any tool.
Feeling like you're running in place? We've all been there. Let's discuss ways to overcome stagnation and inch closer towards our goals, even when it feels like we're not making progress. From starting a business to simple everyday tasks, let's conquer the fear of starting. We'll also uncover the importance of finding your support system, staying connected with your goals and pushing through the hurdles. So, get ready to take a leap of faith and let's turn those dreams into reality together.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Stuck in the paralysis of analysis? It's time to break free and face the fear that's been holding you back. This episode serves up some tough love, as we confront the barriers that prevent us from achieving our dreams and how inaction can sometimes be the biggest cause of depression. We'll chat about the importance of moving forward, even when the outcome isn't guaranteed, and why taking the first step is more valuable than any tool.
Feeling like you're running in place? We've all been there. Let's discuss ways to overcome stagnation and inch closer towards our goals, even when it feels like we're not making progress. From starting a business to simple everyday tasks, let's conquer the fear of starting. We'll also uncover the importance of finding your support system, staying connected with your goals and pushing through the hurdles. So, get ready to take a leap of faith and let's turn those dreams into reality together.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:
Hello, hello, hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life Coach, nandi Kamil, and I'm so grateful, thankful and excited to have you back for another episode. My friends, it's been so much fun talking to clients in sessions where they're like. I listened to the podcast. Let me tell you what episode I listened to. I listened to the one about you and your husband. I listened to the one about friendships and boundaries. It's been so nice to talk to clients about what they're listening to and to feel as though my work is being received in the world. You're like yes, I know by the statistics that people are listening to it, but when I get feedback from people that especially women that I'm working with it feels so good, it's so exciting to hear. So thank you so much for those of you who listen. If you have not already given this podcast a five star rating, I would deeply appreciate it. It helps more people find it, helps this podcast grow. Hopefully it helps me reach more people. That is always the goal that I'm reaching the people that want this, that need this.
Speaker 2:
I went out to coffee with a friend a few days ago and we're going to start this monthly coffee date, and one of the things that we talked about was freebies, and that's one of the things that you hear about a lot, especially in the coaching realm, is that you need to have a freebie to build up your email list and all that, and that's never been something that I've actually done. I've been able to sign clients and build an email list without that. I think that's a great practice if that works for you. It wasn't something that I was really drawn towards. It wasn't something that I wanted to do, and as I was talking to this friend, I was like my freebie is my podcast. That's my freebie. I love put pouring into this every single week. I love giving value in this way every single week. I have so much fun. This is my freebie, and so my ask for you is that, if you truly do enjoy this podcast, if you have not already given us a five star rating, I would so so appreciate it. That's my little trade off, that's my little ass that truly, if you're getting value out of this, that I would totally appreciate it if you could add a five star rating so that can add more value to somebody else's life. Hopefully they can stumble upon this and we can continue to grow. So thank you so much ahead of time for all that this week.
Speaker 2:
My friends, I'm talking do it or don't, do it or don't. It's a little bit of tough love today. You know it's always going to be one of those things where I want you to take what sticks to you, leave the rest. But I'm going to give you a little bit of tough love. I'm going to give a little bit of a push today. I might make you a little bit uncomfortable, but I'm doing so with love in the way. I want you to think about me as like a personal trainer for your brain. We're doing some heavy lifting in the brain today.
Speaker 2:
You know when you love, hate your personal trainer, where they're making you do something you've never done. Or you go to a fitness class and your instructor is pushing you to do something Maybe you haven't done. Or if you're on the bike, you're indoor cycling. I used to be an indoor cycling instructor and when we do a sprint and we're like spread, push your feet, go, go, go Right, and you hate that instructor. But when you leave that class you're like, damn, I did that Right. That's what we're working on today. That's the energy I'm bringing to you all today. So do it or don't.
Speaker 2:
So this one came up as a result of thinking about my clients and their to-do list and analysis paralysis. I think one of the reasons the biggest reasons that people come to life coaches in general is because they have goals that they have set internally or out loud and they're just not taking action towards them. I want to start the business, right, that's my number. One thing is, I see lots of women who want to start businesses and they have this idea, they have a series of ideas and they know what they want to do, but they're just not taking action. And this is not just with the clients that I see, it's with friends that I talk to, it's with me sometimes, where we have these dreams and truly we have the steps. Like I need to get alone or I need to get it out in the I don't know the internet streets or the real streets and have either digital or in-person events.
Speaker 2:
I want to start a podcast, so I need to buy a microphone, or I don't even need to buy a microphone because, let me let me let you all in on a little secret my friend and I that we went to coffee this past Thursday. I let her know that I'd say about a third to half of the time the podcast is recorded on my phone, on my janky iPhone. My iPhone is a iPhone 10 right now and y'all when I say janky I mean it. They play. There's like streaks on the screen. It is falling apart. Right now, tyler and I are about to give me a new phone, but Sometimes I recorded it on my phone, so it's not like it's not truly about this stuff and that's what we're gonna talk about today.
Speaker 2:
Sometimes we we put things in our pathway and we buffer, which is just a fancy way of saying procrastinating. So that's what we're going to unpack today. Is this place that we get into when it's analysis, paralysis, or we're buffering or procrastinating? We're overthinking, right, but we're not taking action on the things that we want to take action on, whether it is Starting the business or it's a put a piece of the business right. So maybe you've started your business, but now you're to a place where you want to start coursework or you'd like to start retreats, or you'd like to start a podcast. Maybe it's just a new project that you'd like to start, maybe it's your to-do list around your car. You need to get your brakes fixed and your oil change and all these other things. Regardless, you're not taking action on the thing that you know that you want to take action on. Right what I want to offer Again, take it if it's 60, leave it if it doesn't.
Speaker 2:
For my humans that are similar to me, often my depression is caused by my inaction. I Want to blame other things, I want to blame other people, I want to blame circumstances, but the reality is my depression often is not caused by anything else but my inaction, my inability to go after the things that I know that I want, my inability to get up and take action on the things that I said I was going to take action on. And what happens is, over time, after I continue to not take action on the things that I know that I want to do, I'm breaking trust with myself. So let's go back. You all know that my running definition of confidence is trust plus Consistency. Right, if you want to be good, if you want to be confident. Excuse me, it's really broken down into Consistently building trust with yourself.
Speaker 2:
You build trust with yourself by doing the things you say you want to do, and so what happens is we say we want to do these things, I want to start writing more, I want to start eating better, I want to start the blog, I want to start the business, I want to start the podcast. And we say we want to do these things and maybe we do, but then over time, as we continue to Say we want to do these things and keep not doing them, the brain says do you actually want to do this? Because you keep saying it and you keep not following through. Our Brains are watching us and our brains are our think about them as machines, as computers are taking in information. And if we keep saying we're gonna do something and we keep not doing it, the brain then, over time, says I don't believe you. Right, and that's where my depression might come from. Is that I'm like I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that? My brain's like well, you haven't, and you haven't in several weeks. So why should I believe you? Loser? And that's me being really real about how nasty my brain can be. I don't know if y'all's brains are that nasty. My brain can get that nasty and in those moments it's important for me to check in and look at my list for real.
Speaker 2:
The things that I've written down on this to-do list, the things that I've written down on this goal list, do I actually want to do them, yes or no? I think that that's a really great place to start, because sometimes there's things that are on our to-do list, sometimes there's things that are on our goal list that are somebody else's goal. There's somebody else's to do that somehow we ended up putting on our to-do list. So that's the first check-in make sure that everything on your list I've said this before are things that you want to do, are things that you actually want to follow through on. And if you Don't want to do them and you need to have a conversation with somebody about something, then do that and take the things that do not need to be on your to-do list, that do not serve you, that are not in alignment For you, take them off.
Speaker 2:
But for the things that are on your list, if you keep saying that you're stuck because this is the way it keeps showing up for my clients and my friends is them saying I'm stuck or I've caught myself saying it. Oh, I'm stuck, I feel stuck, right, but it's not so much. And again, always my friends are. That's why I'm going to keep saying it Take with six, you leave the rest. This is not about making anybody feel bad, but this is about giving you a wake up call with love if you need one.
Speaker 2:
Sometimes I say I'm stuck, but it's not that I'm stuck, it's that I've chosen not to move my feet. It's not that I'm actually stuck. Is that I'm not taking action. Is that you? Are you over here saying that you're stuck and your results aren't changing? But you're not changing your input, you're not changing your action. You keep going through your week. You keep going through your day taking the same action on a day to day basis, expecting different results. You know that that's our running different definition of insanity doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results.
Speaker 2:
Back in, is that you Are you over here saying that you're stuck, but really you're just not moving your feet. So it feels like you're stuck. It's like the kid that I'm raising, this imagery of the child or the adult that is in the shallow side that is freaking out. But if they would just stand up, you're not actually stuck, you just need to stand up and move your feet. You're not stuck. I don't know who needs to hear that. I needed to hear it recently for myself. You're not stuck, it's just that you're not actually moving your feet because you might have a fear. That's totally fine.
Speaker 2:
Your brain might say what if it doesn't work out? I'm afraid we go back to our fight. Flight freeze response you might be in freeze. That's what might be causing your stuckness. The brain is afraid. I'm afraid of moving my feet. I'm afraid of taking action. I'm afraid that it's not going to turn out the way that I thought it was going to turn out. I'm afraid that people aren't going to get it. What if I take action and I fail? What if I follow my face? What if it doesn't work out?
Speaker 2:
So the brain says let me just stay right here. I would rather be in this comfortable discomfort. I would rather be in this place where maybe things aren't great or they're not horrible, rather than going and taking a chance on myself. Rather than going and taking the action, rather than going to that event on my own and being a little uncomfortable, I would rather just be right here. But then we lie to ourselves and we say that we're stuck. So I just want to check in. Maybe that's you. Here's what I want to offer to you, thank you.
Speaker 2:
That is what's keeping you quote stuck is this thought of what if it doesn't work out? I'm not taking action on my to-do list because I'm afraid it might not work out. I'm not taking action on the to-do list because here's the thing. Let's follow that thought all the way down. If you truly don't believe it's going to work out, why would you take action on it? You're a smart, logical human being. So if you're smart, logical brain truly believes this is not going to work out, then it's not going to waste your time taking any action on it. So that's why we come back to our beliefs and that's why this is called believe like a boss. What are your beliefs about the thing? What are your beliefs about your goal? That you're going to take action is not going to matter. Check in that might be real. That you truly are afraid I might take this action and it might not matter anyway, because I've taken action before and I didn't get the results that I wanted to. So why should I try again now? Why should I take different action now?
Speaker 2:
If you truly believe that nothing is going to change, you will not take action. Your brain is too smart for that. So let's let's flip it around. What if it does work out? And here's where I really truly want you to spend time going down both paths. I want you to go down the path of what if it doesn't work out, because there will be times in life where it does not and I want you to be the person that has their own back anyway. That when it doesn't work out, the retreat that you don't sign, as many clients, you don't fall in love with the very first person you go on at the blind date with.
Speaker 2:
What are you gonna do? Give up on your dreams? You could. That's an option. I'm not saying it's bad. You could change your mind. But here's what I want to offer you what if it doesn't work out? How are you gonna show up for your dreams still, anyway? How are you going to pivot anyway?
Speaker 2:
Right, this is where we start to take our power back. Instead of being like what if it doesn't work out? And not taking action, we say what if it doesn't work out? And we create a solution for it not working out, knowing that it's going to work out eventually, because that's what I've asked for, that's what I'm going for. I'm going for the lifelong marriage. I'm going for the generational wealth. I'm going for a job that I love, that I get excited about when I wake up in the morning instead of crying about that's what I'm going for.
Speaker 2:
Period, period. How connected to your goals and your dreams are you? Or are you willing to be knocked off by seemingly big things? But truly our little, our lives, our presence? Right, we have presence from moment to moment. The past does not matter. You have this moment. What are you going to do with it? I don't care what happened in the past, I really don't, and that could be hard to hear because our past informs how we show up today.
Speaker 2:
Right, we have logical brains. Our brains are collecting information and it makes sense that we are collecting information from the past to inform our future. But if you are doing that in a way that is not serving you, then the past, then using your brain in that way, is not serving you. That's where we're gonna get a check in. Are you going to allow the cautious brain to run the show? It is important for it to run the show when we're driving on the road, when we're crossing the street, when we are traveling, but when you're going in on your dreams. We have to override part of that, the part of the brain that says mayday, mayday. What if something goes wrong? This is where we have to be willing to say it might go wrong and that's okay, because what I'm connected to is my vision. I will have a lifelong marriage. At the end of the day, I will be a mother with children. At the end of the day, I will accomplish the goal of having ten thousand downloads on my podcast, even if it means that I follow my face a few times along the way.
Speaker 2:
How connected to your vision and your goals are you? What if it does work out? What then? Who do you need to be? What do you need to think? What do you need to do in order to be in alignment with the version of you where it does work out? It's not as not about as being fortune tellers, and I think that that's where this sort of work gets a bad reputation, where, oh, you just put on a vision board and you just are really positive about it and it works out. To be honest, yes, and there's a lot of crappy things that happen along the way.
Speaker 2:
I've told people a million times my first event. Nobody showed up to my first mastermind had only two people in it. I was unwilling to allow those results to determine my future. Cool, that's information. Every time I got information, I was allowed or I was rather encouraged to learn. Think about how. Do I want to do it differently? But what I want you to stop is to stop saying that you're stuck and to stop saying that your results aren't changing and to stop giving your power away. I want you to either take action on your to-do list or take things off of your to-do list that are no longer serving you. To stop letting things like a to-do list take your power away. So to stop letting your inaction cause depression.
Speaker 2:
You are so close to your version of success as you define success, but it is up to you. What are the thoughts that you're thinking? They are influencing the way that you are feeling? Your feelings are influencing the action you're taking or not taking, and that action is influencing your results. So let's take a look at your to-do list. What are your thoughts about your to-do list? You know by how you feel. If your to-do list makes you feel crappy doesn't mean that you have a bad to-do list. It means that you have some thoughts about that list that maybe we need to look at. What are your thoughts about your goals? What are your thoughts about your to-do list?
Speaker 2:
I can't do this. This is too much. This is too hard. Start there. If it's this is too much, how do you break it down? If it's this is too hard, how do you step into a beginner mindset? What might be easier? If you're looking at starting a podcast, you're like I am overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start. Start with a YouTube video. Or if your brain says I need a microphone, start with your phone. Record something on your phone. You have a microphone on your phone. You got this. Please stop allowing the gremlins in your brain. And that's so much easier said than done. So much easier said than done. So that's why I say this is a tough love podcast, but please stop letting the gremlins in your brain run the show.
Speaker 2:
Can you step into acceptance, fully accepting where you are right now in your life, even if you don't like parts of your life? That is what I would offer, first and foremost. Except where you are, don't beat yourself for where you are. There, I am sure are so many things that have gone well to get you to where you are, as much as the brain wants to focus on all the things that have gone wrong, that have gone to where you are I'm sure that there are so many things that have gone well, except where you are and then take inventory this is what's working, this is what's not. From there, what's next, knowing that you can have exactly what you want. Let go of the timeline, leave some room for God and some magic and some wonder, affirming that you get to have what you want.
Speaker 2:
Take a look at that to-do list. Make sure you want to do all the things on there, even the mundane things. I go back to getting my oil changed and my brakes. That was on my to-do list a few weeks ago. I have an appointment this Friday to get my brakes changed. My brain, on a service level, is like no, I don't want to do this. But if I peeled that onion layer back just a little bit, yes, I actually do want to get my brakes fixed. Why? Because I want to live, because I would like to be able to drive safely on the road and keep others around me safe as well. So look at your to-do list, connect with the why you want to do it, and if truly you cannot find a why, then maybe look at taking it off of your to-do list, checking in as to why it ended up on your list on the first place. Were you people pleasing? Did you put something on there that somebody else told you to do but you don't actually want to do? Check in.
Speaker 2:
You are in charge of your life, my friend, and success is available to you as you define success period. If you don't believe that, I just I want to give you that Please. I want you to believe and I hope that if you're listening to this podcast, that some part of you believes that success is you define. Success is available to you. The craziest, most audacious, most expansive, fun, exciting version of success is available to you. And I'm going to add this even in that reality, your life will still be 50-50. Even when you have the person, the career, the money, the family, the relationships, your life will still be 50-50. Crappy things will still happen. So please don't be trying to create this alternative reality because you think that that is a reality in which 100% happiness exists. That exists nowhere. I want you to do things because it lights you up, it expands you, it's exciting, and here's an example starting a business.
Speaker 2:
I love being a life coach. It is fabulous, it is so much fun. I love having a podcast. I love being a motivational speaker. I love having a website. I love being on social media. I love looking fabulous. I love talking about being fabulous. I love talking about mindset, and I don't like doing taxes. There's a lot of mundane things to having a business. I have to have routines around doing the podcast, I have to pay for things like Zoom and I have to pay for bus route, and there are mundane things that I do not like that are a part of me being a life coach, and I am so happy to do these mundane things because it allows me to do the big fun stuff.
Speaker 2:
And that's what I would offer, that I want for you, that the life that you are looking to create, the life that you are walking towards, the life that you are actively creating, that you're not doing it in a way to escape your current life, but that you're doing it in a way to enrich your current life. There's a difference there, and I feel like that might be another podcast for another time, but for today, take a look at that to-do list and I need you to decide to do it or decide to not to Not to do it. Make a decision. Stop allowing you thinking about it again and again to cause anxiety and depression in your life. That is unnecessary drama, unnecessary drama. Take your power back. Decide what you're going to do. Decide how you're going to show up and connect with that future version of you that has done all of the things.
Speaker 2:
How do you feel at that place? Maybe incentivize yourself. Tell yourself, when I do these five emails, when I prep these five podcasts, when I prep X, y and Z, when I go and get my breaks fixed, I will reward myself with a journal, a book, a walk in the park. Incentivize yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. But stop allowing this to-do list to sit here and just rot and allow yourself to say I'm stuck. When you are not, you are not stuck. Stuck is a choice that made somebody really itchy, but I love you so much and I'm sending it off with love. You are not stuck. You are not stuck. You might have some thoughts that make you feel like you're stuck, but you're not stuck.
Speaker 2:
Let's go take action on that to-do list. You got this, my friends. As always, take what's next? You leave the rest and I will see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. Share it with somebody another girl boss babe that you know is grinding, showing up as her best self and can maybe use some support on her way. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey Go ahead to nandikamillecom to learn more or head over to nandikamilleasme to sign up for your free discovery call. I'll see you soon, queen.