Ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? Struggled with the belief that you're not as competent as others perceive you to be? That's the deceptive nature of imposter syndrome, and in this episode, I candidly share my journey of battling against this phenomenon. As I ventured into starting a business in the education sector, while shifting roles, I found myself questioning my identity, self-worth, and abilities. It's a story of inner conflict, self-discovery, and ultimately, empowerment. I unravel the narratives our minds spin, the power of our beliefs, and how they influence our self-perception and behavior, guiding you to the realization that you are free to wear multiple hats and explore multiple identities.
The latter part of the episode unveils my strategy to win over imposter syndrome. This isn't just about affirmations but about actively seeking evidence of our capabilities and rewriting our stories. I extend an invitation to you, my listeners, to get curious about the fears that imposter syndrome presents. This is more than a podcast episode—it's an opportunity to shift into a place of belief in your potential. Lastly, for those who are interested in further support, I open the doors for one-on-one coaching sessions. So, buckle up for this deep-dive into the psyche and join me in an empowering and enlightening conversation.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? Struggled with the belief that you're not as competent as others perceive you to be? That's the deceptive nature of imposter syndrome, and in this episode, I candidly share my journey of battling against this phenomenon. As I ventured into starting a business in the education sector, while shifting roles, I found myself questioning my identity, self-worth, and abilities. It's a story of inner conflict, self-discovery, and ultimately, empowerment. I unravel the narratives our minds spin, the power of our beliefs, and how they influence our self-perception and behavior, guiding you to the realization that you are free to wear multiple hats and explore multiple identities.
The latter part of the episode unveils my strategy to win over imposter syndrome. This isn't just about affirmations but about actively seeking evidence of our capabilities and rewriting our stories. I extend an invitation to you, my listeners, to get curious about the fears that imposter syndrome presents. This is more than a podcast episode—it's an opportunity to shift into a place of belief in your potential. Lastly, for those who are interested in further support, I open the doors for one-on-one coaching sessions. So, buckle up for this deep-dive into the psyche and join me in an empowering and enlightening conversation.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandu Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:
Hello, my friends, so excited I am having a moment of inspiration, of excitement. I have personally been doing a lot of inner work around imposter syndrome, around identity, and I've just been having these little baby epiphanies maybe not baby epiphanies, but epiphanies these moments where they're aha moments, they're little breakthroughs and I'm having one that I want to share with you all, and it started with imposter syndrome. So, between I think I've been maybe lightly talking about it on the podcast, I've more so been sharing on Instagram and my stories about how I've been feeling this conflict of identity of turning 30, of I'm opening up a school. I'm also still a life coach, I am an ambassador, I wear lots of hats, I wear many hats and, for whatever reason, I've been questioning all of the hats that I've been wearing and I've been questioning who I am and my confidence and my place in the world, and until recently, I didn't really realize it was imposter syndrome. I was experiencing a pretty heavy bout of imposter syndrome of not feeling as though I could still say that I'm a life coach for creative entrepreneurs and executives while I am opening up a business in the education sector. For whatever reason, my brain said you can't be a life coach for entrepreneurs and executives when you work in education. That's not. That's not entrepreneurial, which is a complete lie. It's just very interesting the way that our brains create stories and then we believe those stories, and then our belief that's why this is called believe like a boss. Our belief then influences the way that we show up. So I've started showing up or I had started showing up in a way of I can't be a life coach, I'm not in education.
Speaker 2:
Still, I'm over here building a school, completely ignoring the fact that, by building a brand new school from scratch, I'm hiring right now I'm enrolling. Right now I'm marketing, I'm doing the social media. I am actively doing the work of an entrepreneur in now multiple ways, not only in my life coaching, but now within education. I've found how to step out of. There's nothing wrong with teaching, but I never really wanted to teach. I always wanted to be in leadership and I've always wanted to be an entrepreneurship, but I've, literally I am doing that, and for whatever reason.
Speaker 2:
It's just so interesting the way that our brain will either take information from the world, take information from other people or just create crazy stories on their own. And I'm not doing good enough, because you should be farther along, because you can't be a life coach for entrepreneurs because and it was this story that I kept believing that nobody had actually told me. Nobody said that I could not wear both hats, but the story I was hearing from the world is niche down, pick one thing, niche down, pick one thing. And that is correct. And I think what happened for me is that I heard that niche down, pick one thing, and I made it mean that about my life, that I needed to niche down my entire life, that in my life I needed to only wear one hat, when that is not what. I don't have a new understanding of that whole phrasing niche down it means the same thing, but within my business, within my business, niche down and that was always what everybody was saying. But somewhere along the lines, my brain reinterpreted that, interpreted that to be niche down in your life, wear one hat in your life, don't tell people about all of the things that you do. You should only be doing one thing. But rather, the breakthrough I've been having is that I've been second guessing myself as a life coach and that's really all. It was that when I'm niching down yes, niche down in my life, coaching business. Continue to talk to the creative entrepreneurs and executives you love working with. That's your niche and have your own back about that.
Speaker 2:
For a really long time, I didn't think that I was smart enough to work with executives and entrepreneurs. I didn't think that I was business savvy enough because, being a person who has been labeled as free spirited and creative their entire life, often also labeled lazy, which I later found out I had ADHD or I have ADHD and that's what attributed to that, when you grow up with those labels of lazy and the creative and free spirited at least for me I didn't feel as though I could fit into the box of smarts and organized and logical. I didn't see myself. I knew I was smart, but I didn't see myself as a smart kid, despite the fact that I was. All of my classes were AP or honors classes, all of them middle school through high school, for all honors and AP classes maybe, but aside from like my electives, that storyline carried with me into my adulthood.
Speaker 2:
I'm the creative one and if I'm the creative one, I cannot Also be the business savvy one. I cannot also be the organized one. You need to pick. So again, there's the undercurrent a pick one. You cannot be this multitude of things. If you're creative, you cannot also be business savvy. Who are you to say that you can help people in business? You work in education because there's this negative connotation about working in education Everybody that works in education doesn't make any money. Those people don't make any money, right, it's a forgotten, left out field and if you're joining that, you're joining that only because you love kids, right, and you like long summer breaks. But you know that's you're not really business savvy if you're in education. That's the story I've been telling myself and I recognize that recently and I had to rewrite that story of not only can I and do I want to wear multiple hats, I love being a leader in education. I love being an entrepreneur in education and an entrepreneur in my own sector of wellness right and life coaching. Not in my own sector. In the sector of wellness, as a life coach, I love wearing multiple hats and I am smart and I can help people build businesses. I already have and I've built businesses with an education.
Speaker 2:
A few years ago I was hired by a local what is it? Private school, and it was pre-kindergarten through high school and I was hired. I was brought on to build out their summer camps. For the previous two years they hadn't had camps and the year before that they had hired somebody to do their summer camps and that person actually ended up losing the school $40,000. And so when I was brought on they told me that story hey, last person I was brought on lost $40,000. We haven't had a program in two years. We need you to create a program and we needed to be profitable. And I asked them how profitable do you need this program to be? And at the time the person the head of school of that community said I need you make $5, I'll be happy. And I said we're gonna make way more than that, I promise. I ended up making net $19,000. That was after I paid for all of the camps. All of our vendors paid all of our staff incredibly well. I had summer camp counselors from I think my youngest was maybe 18, all the way into 40s at $25 an hour. That is unheard of in education in most places for summer camp counselors. So I paid my staff. Well, vendors are paid. We had an excellent program that my families, my parents loved, my community loved. I'm marketing, I'm building a new business. I made it profitable in year one.
Speaker 2:
And here I was counting myself out, telling myself that I couldn't help other people build businesses. I couldn't help other people manage their minds to accomplish the goals that they want to accomplish because I'm in education. If I'm in education, I have to. I need to go. I was comparing myself to my husband, who's going to school right now, getting his executive master's business administration from Northwestern. I need to be going to business school if I'm gonna be a business coach.
Speaker 2:
Notice the ways that you count yourself out. Notice the ways that you're fighting for what you don't want versus fighting for what you do want. I want to be a successful, and successful. For me it's profitable of helping people, doing what I love, showing up authentic in the world, providing value in the world. Right, what does success mean to you? What is your version of success? What is it that you want to do in the world?
Speaker 2:
And then I want you to notice all the thoughts you have that say all of the reasons you can't Because I'm not organized enough, because I'm in education, because I'm creative, I'm not organized. I'm a free spirit. I can't do math well. Notice all of the stories we tell ourselves. Or have clients that are on the opposite side that have backgrounds and finance and accounting. They're like why I'm too regimented, I couldn't be creative like that, I can't be extroverted like that, I can't go to events or I can't dress like that, even though they want to notice.
Speaker 2:
I want you to be clear on what you want and Then I want you to notice all of the reasons that you have said that you can't have what you want. The other way that I love to look at this and this really helps me to check in is what are the rules that you're following? What are the silent rules that you're following in your life? I have to follow these steps before I can get to that place. I cannot dress that way because of XYZ. I could never start a business because I don't even know how to ask for a business loan and it would be too hard to look for it, so I just won't do it. What are the silent rules that you are following that are not in alignment with what you actually want? So there's a few questions that I'm asking there.
Speaker 2:
First, of all what is it that you want? Asking yourself that daily, throughout the day, always checking in. What do I want right now?
Speaker 2:
when you're in a conversation where you're feeling conflict and your fresh way. What do I want right now this person speak to me with respect for me to speak up in the conversation when you're at home and you're feeling frustrated and you don't know why, you're feeling a little bit depressed. What do I want right now? Do I want a nap? Do I want some time to myself? Do I want some friendship right now? Do I want some connection? Do I want more money in my bank account so I can go out and get my nails done right now? What do you want?
Speaker 2:
That goes hand-in-hand with another way to ask that question is what is your version of success? What does it mean to you to be successful? Those are your wants, right, check in there. What do you want? What is your version of success? And then, from there, check in.
Speaker 2:
What are all of the thoughts that say you cannot have that? What are all of the reasons that you could not have that thing? What are all of the fears that are coming up? Usually it's a handful of fears that are keeping us from showing up the way that we want to. What are we afraid that's going to happen? I'm afraid that I'm going to. For me. My fear was I'm afraid that I'm going to go out here in these streets, these social media streets, and tell people that I can help them with business and People are going to question me. But the reality was I was just questioning myself. I Didn't fully believe in myself and my ability to help people build business, to manage their mind. Something in me really wanted to do it. There was definitely. I was like I want to help people with business. I want to do this. I want to help people manage their mind and create the empire that they see, either within a company that they love or on their Own, or maybe both. I love doing that, I love that work. I want to do that. And then I had to notice the Thought that wasn't serving me was I can't do that. I'm too creative. I can't help people build business.
Speaker 2:
Building business means math yes, and it means math. It means imposter syndrome. It means habit building. It means motivating yourself and understanding your fears that you can overcome them. It means creating a new self, and those are all things that I am well versed in doing and very good at helping other people do for themselves. Ultimately, helping people trust themselves in the vision that has been placed on their heart and then helping them to take action on that. That's what I want to do and that's what I'm good at.
Speaker 2:
But I had to notice all of my fears and I had to rewrite them. I had to notice all the things that the imposter in me was saying and I had to address those. I think sometimes, when imposter syndrome comes up, the thought is we have to immediately transmute that imposter syndrome is just a bunch of lies about yourself. They are not true and I would offer that that serves us to a point. But what I want to offer in addition to that is that Imposter syndrome often comes from a place of truth. There is some truth to it. Check in what is it that you're afraid of? I'm not professional enough to do this. What does it mean to you to be professional and then closing that gap?
Speaker 2:
There were some things that I wasn't doing in my business that did make me feel like an imposter. I noticed I wasn't studying psychology and the mind Like I was before, and so that was something I needed to tweak. When I think about a professional life coach that is paid to help people change their life, transform their life, I think about somebody that is very well versed in psychology, in mindset, in neuroscience, and is actively participating in that community so they can provide the utmost information and resources to their clients. That's what's important to me. And I noticed that I wasn't doing that, but it wasn't until I leaned into imposter syndrome to get curious why do I feel like an imposter right now? What is going on here? When I leaned into that, it was clear to me you're not educating yourself the way that I feel like we should be educating ourselves. And so then I took the time to do that. I started going back into Audible, listening to books, ordering new books, and then the imposter syndrome started to go away because I addressed it. I didn't just ignore it, I didn't just put affirmations over it. Y'all know I love affirmations, but that's not always the tool that we use in our tool about.
Speaker 2:
When imposter syndrome came up for me this time I needed to lean in and get curious about all the ways that I felt like an imposter and address them, rewrite those stories, actually find evidence for why I am great at building business, helping people change, helping people feel better, helping people trust themselves and take action. I found that evidence and I rewrote those stories, I looked at the places in my life where I had done the things that I want to continue to do, where I had created the results that I want to help other people create for themselves. So what I want to offer to you today again is what do you want? What is your version of success and what are the fears that are coming up? What are the things that imposter syndrome is saying to you? Can you lean in and get curious about them so that you can address them? Maybe it is an affirmation that you're reaching to your tool about, for Maybe you're feeling like an imposter because your brain says nobody would ever pay me.
Speaker 2:
Nobody would ever pay me, and it's just about thinking a new thought. Maybe nobody has ever paid you before, that's okay. Are you willing to believe it is possible for someone to pay me? Are you willing to think that new thought? Right To not be in the mindset of the imposter, to not be in the mindset of the person who has never been paid, but to choose to be in the mindset of the person who does get paid, because they offer a valuable service to the world. Are you willing to step into that energy? I offer a valuable service to the world Period. Are you willing to think that thought instead so thinking when is where's my client coming from? Where's my next client coming from? Where's that paycheck coming from? Where's that XYZ coming from? I offer value in the world period. People love to pay me. Period. Can you step into whatever that version of you is I am sexy. Period. And if it feels like too big of a jump for you to start thinking those thoughts, can you find a bridge thought? I'm willing to believe that I am sexy. I'm willing to believe that people want to pay me. I'm willing to find evidence for why this is working out for me. I truly want you to play with this Play, with this concept of addressing imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2:
Play with this concept of getting clear on what success is to you and rewriting the rules, giving yourself grace as you're going to rewrite these rules, because your brain will fight you. That is why we get stuck, because some part of us says who are you to? You can't do this. When we go and we try to start to believe the new thought of I bring value to the world and people love to pay me, some part of us pipes up and says what? Why Our job is to continue to walk in the direction of what we want. Our job is to continue to affirm the reasons why things are working out for us.
Speaker 2:
Where your focus goes, your energy flows, what are you focusing on? Are you focusing on all the reasons why it's not working out, why you're not good enough, all the failures that have happened in the past? So they must, they must repeat themselves in the future. Of course they will. Where is your focus? Or is it on? This is working out for me. Even though I fell down before I'm willing to get back up, here is the evidence of how things have worked out for me before Check in on what you are focusing on and are you sitting in the seat of? Of course it's working out for me. Of course I'm getting the things that I want. Or are you sharing up from the place of it's not working out for me. It's not working out for me.
Speaker 2:
That's where the imposter is, that's where imposter syndrome lives within that belief of it's not working out for me. It might seem like it's not working out for you. Things might, in this moment, be a little bit more tumultuous than they have been. Are you willing to believe that things can change for the positive. Are you willing to believe that you are the person that can accomplish the things that were put on your heart? If you are willing to believe those things, what is the version of you who has those things think and feel. How does that version of you, who has overcome imposter syndrome, show up in the world? Think about themselves, think about their clients, think about their employees, think about their work, think about their place in the world.
Speaker 2:
Your job and my offering is to shift into that place and to live in that place as often as you can To notice when imposter syndrome comes up, to notice when you are fighting for your fears. This is never going to work out. I'm never going to get there. I'm never going to see the success that I want. Are you fighting for your fears or are you fighting for your hopes? Are you fighting for your dreams? If you've been fighting for your fears, it's okay. I offer you love and I offer you grace, and I hope that you offer love and grace to yourself. You're a human being doing your very best.
Speaker 2:
Your brain is always trying to protect you, even if it's just trying to protect you from being embarrassed, trying to protect you from losing a client, trying to protect you from feeling some type of way in public, your brain is always trying to protect you. Are you willing to go through that discomfort? Are you willing to say brain, I might feel, brain, I might fall on my face. Brain, this might not work out the way that I want it to, but I'm willing to show up anyway because my hope is that it does work out. My goal is that it does work out. My intention is that it does work out how I expect or better, I love that phrase and God, this or something better. Whenever I'm asking for something, this or something better and I affirm and I know in my body and I truly believe this, what I'm asking for or something better will occur. And when I'm in that mindset, it opens up my creativity.
Speaker 2:
Because when I'm in that place of it's not working out, it's not working out, you are getting closer and closer, if not already, in what's called your lizard brain that fight, flight, freeze, fun response. You're in that protection zone. When you're in that protection zone, that is not where creativity flows. That's where adrenaline comes up and you are fully in survival. How do I protect myself from being looked at stupidly, from looking stupid, from falling on my face. That's not where your creativity lives.
Speaker 2:
Your creativity lives in the place of possibility and the place where people might call you delusional because you're calling upon things that you've never seen before, you've never done before, but that you truly believe are possible and want you to live there. Play with that delusion a little bit. We're in that place of believing in possibility. That's where our creativity lives. It's where we can have new ideas when we believe things are working out for us. It opens us up to seeing how things are working out for us.
Speaker 2:
Whatever you tell your brain, your brain will believe and your brain will look for evidence of. It does not care what you say. It will look for evidence of whatever you put in your brain space. If you say it's not working out, your brain will look for evidence of that. If you say that it is working out, your brain will look for evidence of that. In the same way, when imposter syndrome comes up, if you just buy into, this isn't working out, I'm an imposter, I'm a fake, they're going to find me out. Your brain is going to look for evidence of that. I want you to look for evidence of why you are the person to do the thing that was put on your heart.
Speaker 2:
As always, take what's 60, leave the rest of my friends. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. Share it with somebody another girl, boss, babe that you know is grinding, showing up as her best self and can maybe use some support on her way. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nadicamillecom to learn more or head over to nadicamilleasme to sign up for your free discovery call. I'll see you soon, queen.