Why Reflection Matters

You can be doing all the “right” things and still feel like you’re getting nowhere. That’s usually not a motivation problem. It’s a reflection problem.

I’m Nandi Camille, mindfulness-based life coach, and I’m sharing why reflection is the simplest way to stop repeating the same month on a loop. We talk about how kids are taught to reflect constantly, while adults get rewarded for nonstop production, even when that production creates results we don’t like. When we pause to check in, we create from an aligned place instead of going through the motions, and that shift changes everything from confidence to consistency.

I walk you through practical reflection prompts you can use for any measurable goal, including revenue goals, fitness routines, and daily habits. We get specific: what your goal actually is, why it matters, where the money or outcome is going, what it would feel like to hit it, and what the “goal-hitting version” of you believes about your offer, your services, and yourself. I also share a hiking metaphor for course-correcting fast, plus easy ways to reflect without journaling, like a quick check-in on your drive home.

To ground it in real-world psychology, I break down research-backed reasons reflection improves self-awareness, emotional regulation, learning, resilience, and life satisfaction. If you’re ready to feel more grounded and confident as you move forward, listen now, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a five-star review so more people can find the show.

Last Call!! If you’re ready for support, community, and a newfound sense of authentic confidence, The Art of Magnetism is my group coaching course focused on confidence and co-creation. We start on June 2nd!  

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Transcript

Welcome And Art Of Magnetism

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Bot. I'm your host, Life Coach Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment, and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

This episode is sponsored by The Art of Magnetism. It is my newest group coaching course. It's all about confidence and co-creation, being your most confident self so that you can co-create the reality that you want. If you're tired of playing small, feeling small, not feeling like you can use your voice, feeling like you're ready to be more confident so you can call in and have the life that you want, create those new results that you keep thinking about. Go to Nandicamille.com to learn more. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends. I'm so excited tomorrow. So as you're listening to this, it's the first day of June. So welcome to June. If you're listening to this on time, if you're listening to this at another time, welcome to the podcast. But as I'm recording this, as this is going out, it's the beginning of June and the day after, so Tuesday, June 2nd, then I start the art of magnetism. So I'm just really excited. I'm feeling all the new things like new month, new energy. It's also, I just love that this new month also starts on a Monday. I don't know if that's tickling anybody else, but it's making me very happy that the new month is starting on a Monday. And then tomorrow, like I said, the art of magnetism kicks off. So last call, if anybody is interested in joining us, this is a group coaching course that I've created, is a five-week bi-weekly group coaching course that is meant to help you become your most confident self so that you can co-create the results you want to create. That's like the short of it. But really, what we're breaking down is confidence, being your most confident self. What are the thoughts you have about yourself right now? Where are you really confident in your life? Were you feeling less confident in your life? That's actually what I sent the ladies last week. So you're not too late. We don't start until tomorrow. But I did send them some pre-work of like, hey, let's start our wheels turning. What are the areas of your life that you feel really confident? What are some of the areas of your life that you don't feel confident? Because also I feel like when we talk about confidence, sometimes we're just like, you're either confident or you're not. And I don't believe that that's true. I believe that there are naturally areas in our life that we feel more confident than others. And if we can start to break that down, we actually start to give ourselves a little bit more credit ahead of time. We're like, oh, actually, these are areas that I do feel really confident. Then we notice the areas that I don't feel as confident. And then we can do the practical and mindset work from that place. So again, five-week group coaching course. It'll be at 6:30 p.m. Mountain Time starting on June 2nd. Come and join us. I have payment plans available. Do not keep yourself out of this send me an email if you have any questions. Hello at NandyCamille.com.

Reflection Learned From Childhood

SPEAKER_01 2:53

All right, my friends, this week we're talking about reflection and why reflection matters. I got really excited. I feel like I always get really excited. Really, it's like if I don't get excited about the episode, we're not doing it. And that is very true. I will sit and truly think through different topics because there's I always have a running list of things that I can bring to you all that I can work on with you all because I'm actively working on these things with my clients all the time in coaching sessions. So there's no lack of topics to talk about. It's just what what do I want to bring right now? And as I said on social media not that long ago, I used to love going to church as a kid. And I would love on, well, when I say that, I say that with an asterisk, it's not that I loved going to church as a kid. It's that I loved that there were certain weeks where it felt like the pastor was talking specifically to me. That's what I really loved. And so for me, when it comes to this podcast, that's the effect I want to have. I my goal is that this episode, every episode, touches somebody exactly the way that they need the word, exactly the way that they need to hear the message. So that's always my goal. Anyway, so I got excited thinking about this week, as always, and thinking about reflection. As you all know, my background, besides being mindfulness-based life coach, is in education. I've spent 20 years working with children and families, building schools from scratch, helping young children, helping teachers, building out programs. It is so much fun. I love children. I think that they are such a great example for us as adults. And I hope that I will never let go of that, that I will always find ways to be childlike, have children in my life, be around kids. I hope to be a mother one day because of how important I believe having that childlike spirit is. So thinking about children and thinking about schools when it comes to reflection, children are taught to reflect all of the time, right? They reflect on how they treat others. It's one of the very first lessons that children learn when it comes to reflection, right? If you hit a friend, if you do something that is unkind, the teacher's going to make you hopefully reflect on what happened, not just go over and apologize, but like, let's talk about it. What happened? Why did you get upset? Why did you hit your friend? Why did you throw the rock? Why did you snatch the scissors out of their hand? Let's reflect on what happened, right? They reflect on their work after your first draft has been peer reviewed. I remember doing this when you'd write a first draft in writing class, an English class, and then you would give that first draft to your neighbor or to a person in the room. That person would then mark it up, peer edit it. I would love to do this. I was that person with my little red pen. I was so excited. I was a little teacher before I was a teacher. I was so excited to mark up the page because I knew like me noticing your missing punctuation or the missing um whatever the grammatically incorrect sentence right here is going to help you. So I'd get really excited and like mark it up, and somebody would mark up my paper, and then you get it back, and then from that place you would reflect on their corrections. And sometimes you would take them, sometimes you wouldn't, right? If it was a matter of voice or if it was a matter of, I don't like the way you wrote this sentence, maybe you don't take that reflection. But it the point was you reflected on your work, on somebody else reviewing it, and then from there, what do I want to do next? Right? Children are asked to reflect on their feelings on a historical or current event. I loved actually I'm like, did I love? I appreciate as an adult, I don't know if I loved it as a kid or as a student, but as an adult, I appreciated that my teachers would have us regularly reflect on current events. Pick any current event that's going on in the world, is what my teacher would say, and you need to write about it. What are your thoughts about it? What is going on in the world? Whether it was an oil spill that just happened or it was a typhoon that occurred, right? What was the impact of it? What were your thoughts on it? Right. And kids are apt to reflect on their family, their self, their community, right? When they do an about me, when they do a share, show and tell, that is actively reflecting. I brought my stuffed animal from home today. This is why I brought stuffy, my stuffed animal, because stuffy is the best, right? They're reflecting on why they love this thing, why they brought it in. So children are regularly asked to reflect. That's where this came from.

Production Versus Pause

SPEAKER_01 6:52

And as adults, it seems like there's an expectation to produce. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it just feels like there's an excess importance placed on producing or production over reflection. And so my intention for this podcast is to offer, let's pause. It's not that production is not important. Production is important. When we reflect, though, is the thought process here, we produce from a better place. When we take the time to reflect, when we take the time to check in and see what's working, what's not, what's next, then we produce from an aligned place, not from a blind place, not from a what is the word I'm looking for? Just this like almost like rote, uh like a habit that you don't want to have, right? Where you're just going through the motions. That's essentially what I'm saying, right? Going through the motions and producing from that place versus checking in. Do I like the results that I'm producing? Do I like the results that I'm creating in my life, or do I not like the results that I'm producing? Right? If you keep producing results that you don't want, you're not hitting your revenue goal, you don't like the space or environment that you live in or that you work in, you're not hitting your follower count or your subscriber count, you're not cleaning out the car, cleaning out the fridge, cleaning out the garage or the drunk drawer like you said you're going to. Right? If you're not producing the results that you want to, reflection is going to allow for curiosity and compassion. It's going to be the doorway to self-awareness and positive change. When we reflect on what's not going well, we're being curious. When we reflect on what's not going well, it's the opposite of us shoving it down and being like, oh, I'm going to just do better next month. Oh, it's, it's always like this. Oh, whatever. Just right, that like frenetic energy. That's what we're trying to transmute right now. I want you to feel grounded. I want you to feel confident. We are starting a new month. I want you to walk into this month with an awareness, not with like, oh, last month didn't end up the way I wanted to. And fingers crossed, this month goes better. No, let's reflect. Let's pause and look at what happened. If it's that you didn't hit your revenue goal, let's go with that example because more often than not, that's what we end up talking about in coaching. Women come to me because they want to start a business, they want to start a side hustle, they want to grow within their career, they want to step into a leadership position. And part of what comes with that is a desire to have a higher revenue goal, a desire to feel more abundant in their literal bank account, but also in their sphere, right? It's both. So when we're talking about not hitting your revenue goal, let's say that that is the goal that you didn't hit. That's the result that you produced that you don't want to keep producing. You don't want to keep having month after month where you're frustrated with yourself, whether you're working for somebody else or you're working for yourself, but you're not hitting the revenue goal that has been set for you or that you've set for yourself, right? So instead of going into another month, trying the same thing, expecting a different result. We love that quote. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result, right? So if you've been doing something consistently for a while, this isn't something you just started a week ago, you just started like two days ago, and you're like, oh, it's not working after three days. Oh, it's not working after I tried it for like a week. Right. There, I have thoughts about timelines and trying things out. If you're trying out a new habit for yourself, I like to say give yourself a minimum of a week. Other experts will probably tell you longer, right? But a minimum of a week to try something consistently. Now, let's say you've been trying something for at least a week. Sometimes it's more. If it's a sales goal and you're trying a new sales tactic, more than a week. If it's a habit of working out in the morning versus the afternoon, right? Maybe it's only a week. You get to decide what fits for you. Coming back to our example, if your frustration is that you're not hitting your monthly revenue goal, let's reflect.

Reflective Questions For Goals

SPEAKER_01 10:54

First of all, what is your revenue goal? I know this seems really silly, but let's start at the beginning. If you're not hitting your monthly goal of hitting $10,000 a month, I'm just grabbing a number, you use the number that works for you. If your number is $3,000, if your number is $12,000, it doesn't matter what the number is. What is your revenue goal? And if for you it's not a goal of revenue, it's a goal of going to the gym three times. It's a goal of cooking for yourself in your own house four out of the seven days a week, right? You decide what that goal is. What is your goal? Your very specific, measurable goal. What is it? Second question, why do you have that goal? Again, I know that this might feel rudimentary. It might feel like redundant. Why am I asking these questions? I already know my goal is 10K. I already know my goal is 10K because I want to do this, that, and that. And I want to save this money and I want to invest in this way and I want to clean out my car and I want to go travel in this way. If you don't know where your money is going, my friend, please get very clear. It's very important that you know where your money is going. It's so great to like stick our finger in there and be like, oh, I feel like I want to make $12,000. That's great. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. But from that place in, I want you to understand where that money is going. When that $12,000 hits your bank account, where is it going? Give it some purpose. That I feel drives us better than this, just like, ooh, la la la, $12,000, right? Okay. So what is your goal? Why do you have this goal? Why is this goal important to you? Why do you want to make $10,000? Where is it going? What's going to happen with it? What would it feel like to hit your goal? Check in. We're reflecting right now. What would it feel like to hit your goal? This is a goal that you didn't hit last month. This is a goal that you haven't been hitting. This is a result that you don't like that you're producing. What would it feel like to do the opposite to hit the goal, to create the result that you want to create? What does the version of you who regularly hits this goal think about their offerings or their services? Now, this again is specific to my goal of a revenue goal. If your goal is to go to the gym four times a week, what does the version of you who regularly hits the gym four times a week think about themselves?

unknown 12:58

Right?

SPEAKER_01 12:58

But coming back to my revenue goal, what does the version of you who regularly hits this goal think about their offerings and their services? I think that question is so very important. What do you think about what you're selling? That it's so important. If you're like, I think it's great, but other people don't think it's great, and it's kind of hard to sell, and I don't know how to sell it, right? There's some things that we can solve for in there. What does the version of you who regularly hits this goal think about their offerings, their services themselves? What are the habits of the version of you who hits this goal monthly? If you're hitting 10k a month, what are the habits that you have when you hit that goal? If you're going to the gym regularly, what are the habits that you have that make sure that you hit that gym regularly? What might I need to learn about this month to keep me reaching my goal? This one's just a fun one. But just check in. Is there a new topic that you could learn about? If sales has been hard for you, maybe you pick up a sales book. If you want to learn piano, maybe it's getting on YouTube and watching a YouTube video. If you want to learn Spanish, where are you going to learn Spanish? If your goal is to go to the gym regularly, what do you need to learn about? I know that when I, one of the things that was a speed bump for me when it came to going to the gym, I now go and do boutique fitness. I find that that is better for me. I do much better when I have specific direction. And so for me, when I was originally going to the gym, that was something that I noticed. It was like I get overwhelmed when I walk into the gym. So my thought was, what do I need to learn about? I need to learn about different repetitions, different, uh, I don't even know what like workout regimens that I can do in the gym. That is a habit of a version of me that goes to the gym regularly. They know what they're doing when they get to the gym, before they even get to the gym, right? I would come in with my list and then that would help me. So, what is something that you might need to learn or learn about that would help you get a step closer to hitting your goal? Reflection just provides us a check-in. Y'all know I love metaphors.

Hiking Metaphor For Alignment

SPEAKER_01 15:09

So the metaphor I'm going to use here is hiking. You know, I love nature. When we're hiking, when we're on a hike, you can get lost. You can absolutely this happened to me maybe a month ago where I was hiking and I was on a path and I found my destination. It's this pretty little like castle type thing, ruins in the mountains. It was so pretty. We have these random ruins I find, like in the mountains. When I say ruins, it's just like uh a brick mansion that was built a very long time ago that is now basically ruined. It's just got its, you know, some of the walls are still up. So anyway, I'm hiking. I found this beautiful place. I'm like, oh, it's so nice. And then I proceed to start hiking back because that was my checkpoint. I said, I'm gonna hit that ruins. I've never seen them before. Oh my gosh, so pretty. And then I'm gonna head back. So I start heading back and walking and I'm walking and walking. And I realize as I'm walking, maybe like 10 minutes into my walk back, I'm like, I am not going the right way. I'm not going the right way. These surroundings are not the same surroundings I saw on my way in. Something is off here. So I had to check in. Am I on the right path? Do I like the path that I'm on right now? The answer in that moment was no, I'm not going the correct way. And when we reflect and we check in, it's an opportunity to do the same. Do I like the path that I'm on? What path am I on? What direction am I going right now? Am I on the correct path? Do I have the correct gear for the path? If I'm rock climbing, I need different gear than if I'm doing a leisurely hike, than if I'm hiking in the wintertime versus if I'm hiking in the summertime, right? Do I have the correct gear? When I check in, do I have the right stuff? Am I on the right path? Am I going my chosen direction? In that moment when I was on that path, it was no. I said, wait a second, I'm going the wrong way. I had to check in. Which direction do I actually want to go? Am I walking the right way? Do I like the way that I'm walking? Am I going in the direction that I want to be going? Is this path leading me towards the destination that I desire to go towards? That's what reflection does for us.

Easy Reflection Without Journaling

SPEAKER_01 17:09

And it makes me so sad that we we've I'm guilty of it too. We say to ourselves, we don't have time. I don't have time to reflect. I don't have time to sit down and write. I don't have time to meditate. I don't have time to journal. I don't have time to think about this. You don't have to meditate. You don't have to journal. Honestly, you could do this with yourself in the car on your way home. What went well today? What do I really like about what happened today? What do I not like about what happened today? What do I want to do next? What am I going to do tonight to better prepare myself for tomorrow? Don't turn on the radio, right? Turn on your brain, turn on yourself, talk, talk to yourself, reflect on the way home. But it's so important. In some way, shape, or form, I want to encourage you to reflect regularly. And you get to decide what regularly means. Maybe it's every single time you listen to this podcast, you finish the podcast, you reflect on the podcast, you reflect on yourself. Maybe it's, like I said, on your drive home. Maybe it's once a week on Sundays before you start the week. Maybe it's every night before you go to bed. You get to determine what regularly means, but I want to encourage you to reflect. Conversely, because this isn't just about the negative, right? About, mate, we need to fix it. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. Let me remind you in case you forgot. I'm not giving you this advice because I think you're broken and these are the tools to fix you. You're not broken, you are not behind, but you deserve to feel in alignment. And one of the great ways that we can feel in alignment and get ourselves back into alignment is by reflecting on where we are, where we're going, and if we like the direction we're going in. Now, conversely, if things are going well, if you like how things are going, if you love your life, if you're hitting your revenue goal, if you're going to the gym three days a week, if you booked the retreat, if you're feeling like a really confident communicator, reflect on what got you here. What's working? What are you proud of? I ask this every time I teach a bar class, anytime I teach a movement class, what are you proud of? What went well? As we're finishing class, as we're stretching, checking what went well. Even if all that you can think of that went well is you walked through the door and you came to class today. I'm so proud of you for showing up. What's going well and why? Right? Reflection isn't just for cleaning up the things that aren't going well, while it's a great tool for that. It's also for noticing what is going well and what created this wellness in my life. What did I do on purpose that created this? What are some of maybe the magical things that I had nothing to do with that feel like it was God? Right, let's reflect on that too. What's going well?

Research-Backed Reasons To Reflect

SPEAKER_01 19:46

To wrap this up in a beautiful bow, I have four psychologically based, this whole podcast always is, but four specifically psychologically based reasons as to why reflection is helpful and beneficial. The first one, it builds genuine self-awareness. Organizational psychologist Tasha Yurich, E-U-R-I-C-H, her research shows that self-awareness is the foundation for high performance, smart choices, and lasting relationships. Reason number two, reflection supports emotional regulation and mental health. This is a quote. Research has shown that self-regulation enhances emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience, all of which are vital for managing conditions like depression, anxiety, and addiction. Number three, it facilitates learning. Reflection is what converts experience into knowledge. So when we go through something and then we think about it, we're synthesizing that information. It becomes wisdom. That's where we start to transmute the energy of failure. That's where failure then starts to become information instead of this really scary thing that happened to me that I'm afraid of that I need to avoid at all costs in every future scenario. Right? Then failure becomes something that I learned from, that I experienced, that transmuted into information and wisdom, not now a fear that keeps me from showing up. Last one here, reflection contributes to self or life satisfaction. There was a study done in 2011 published by the Journal of Psychology, and it found that college students who were more reflective were more likely to report higher levels of satisfaction and related measures of mental well-being. So when we reflect, we feel better. It's a small and impactful way to really take your power back. When bad things happen, when scary things happen, when unfortunate things happen, when we don't hit our goals, because all the above will happen because life be life. Reflection gives us a moment to again transmit. That scary information, maybe that sad information, maybe that embarrassing information into wisdom. What did I learn as a result? What do I want to do next?

You Have More Influence Than You Think

SPEAKER_01 22:10

What is the version of me who has what I want thinking and feeling, even though these other things happened to me, even though I failed this one or two times, even though this speed bump happened and this detour happened, I believe it's possible for my desired result to occur to be available to me. The version of me who has already hit that 10K goal, the version of me who is already going to the gym four times a week, the version of me who is actively going to networking events and is speaking proudly about themselves and the work that they do, the version of me who's going to a brand new yoga retreat that I've wanted to go to for years, right? What is the version of me who is there thinking and feeling about their life? Our job is always to think and feel that way ahead of time. Mindfulness, awareness without judgment, allows us to be aware of where we are, what we're thinking, and how we're feeling. From that place, mindset is us choosing how we want to think and feel so that we can create our own desired results. You have so much more influence over your life than we give ourselves credit for. And that's why I do this work, to remind you. We're not in control of everything. We're not in control of other people, we're not in control of circumstances outside of ourselves. Well, we are in control of our mindset, how we respond, and we have so much influence over the results we create in our lives. You are not a victim. You are not a victim. You are not broken, you are not behind. And if you want some support in that, come and see me for some one-on-one coaching or loving reminder. Today's the last day. We start the art of magnetism on June 2nd. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you. Leave the rest. I'll see you next week.

Ratings And Coaching Links

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Hey, friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one on one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey, go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamille.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.