What are You Making it Mean?

Your brain can turn a single moment into a full-blown verdict about your life. One photo, one comment, one lost follower, one awkward pause in a meeting and suddenly the story becomes “I’m behind,” “I’m not enough,” or “It’s never going to happen for me.” Today we slow that process down with one question that changes everything: What are you making it mean?

I walk through how thoughts become beliefs, and how beliefs become the stories that quietly run your relationships, your money mindset, your confidence online, and the decisions you make when nobody’s watching. We talk about mindfulness as awareness without judgment, why self-judgment makes the world feel harsher, and how constant stimulation in modern life makes it harder to access solitude and hear what you’re actually telling yourself.

You’ll hear real examples: seeing a friend’s pregnancy announcement and feeling the “I’m late” spiral, watching your social media numbers dip and letting your brain build a case for failure, and noticing jealousy around things you want, like success, love, or a beautiful ring. We also get practical about what to do next: pause, listen to your body, name the narrative, and choose a story that supports aligned change instead of shame. If you’ve been craving emotional regulation, self-compassion, and a clearer mindset for growth, this one’s for you.

If this hits home, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a five-star rating so more people can find the show. 

ENJOY THE PODCAST?
Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!

If you’re ready to build confidence, identity, and aligned results, check out The Art of Magnetism or book a free discovery call. 

GET THE NEWSLETTER
Events, Programs & More. Click the link above to join.

LEARN MORE ABOUT COACHING
NandiCamille.com

SCHEDULE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY CALL
Click Here

ASK A QUESTION + LET'S BE SOCIAL
Email: hello@nandicamille.com
Instagram: @nandi.camille

Learn more about Nandi and Life Coaching at: NandiCamille.com

Transcript

Father’s Day And Complicated Love

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nani Camille. Welcome back, my friends. We are in late June. It is officially summer. Father stage is past. I hope that you all are having a fabulous start to your week. I, as I've mentioned before on the podcast, have had a tumultuous relationship with my father. And so I called him yesterday and he actually didn't pick up. And I'm not gonna lie, there's a part of me that was a little bit relieved. There's a part of me that feels guilty for saying that out loud, but we're just gonna acknowledge all of it. Um, I did leave him a really lovely voicemail though, and I'm really grateful that I got to do that. My husband even can what is it, could not condoned me, congratulated me. He was like, that was a really nice voicemail. I think that was nice. I'm gonna try to call him a day, call him again today. But whatever your relationship is with your father, whether it is tumultuous or you have a great relationship or your father's not around or you've never met them, whatever type of relationship you have with your father, I send love towards it. And I hope that for those of you who do have a really great relationship with your father, you had a wonderful father's day. Whether it was a really lovely phone call, or y'all had a barbecue, or you went out and you did something really fun. I hope you had a great time. I have a lot of memories of going fishing as a kid, and that was one of my favorite things to do with my dad, just hours just sitting outside in the sun, baking outside, sitting by your fishing line. The fishing line, sitting by the fishing line part was never that fun for me. It's a little boring, but I just loved being outside, so that part was fine. I would like play around my fishing rod. I couldn't just sit there the whole time. That was one of my favorite memories. So, whatever you all did, I hope you enjoyed it. And again, if you don't have a great relationship with your father or they're not around, I send you so

Thoughts Become Beliefs And Stories

SPEAKER_01 2:02

much love. All right, this week, my friends, we're talking about what are you making it mean? What are you making it mean? Ah, so good. Because we are this this podcast is called Believe Like a Boss, right? So we're always talking about beliefs. What are your beliefs? What are you thinking about? Uh, what is your mindset? Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. We have to be considering all of these things. Why? Because our thoughts are running our lives. Your subconscious mind is running your life, my friend. Whether we're conscious, we have our subconscious. There's a lot that's going on in our subconscious mind that's just running everything. All the thoughts, all of the beliefs, all of the stories, they're all the same thing, right? A thought becomes a belief. A belief is just a thought you think again and again. A belief is the same thing as a story, right? A story is something that you have told yourself, therefore you believe it based on evidence, right? Based on something that somebody told you, based on an experience that you have that is solidified, right? And these stories, some of them serve us, like my father loves me, right? If that's a story that you tell yourself, that definitely serves you. And some of our stories don't serve us. And we're gonna talk a little bit about that and just noticing our stories. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. And as a mindfulness-based life coach, we're gonna talk about awareness, we're gonna talk about being aware of what's going on in our brain without judgment. Because when we start judging ourselves, we're gonna talk a little bit about that too. But when we start judging ourselves, that's when we take our power away. It's not helpful to us, it creates a personality of judgment, right? If you are easily judging yourself, you are definitely gonna be judging other people. And then if you are easily judging other people, you are then going to assume other people are judging you. Isn't that a whole word? My goodness. When I first learned that, I was like, what? Wait, my judgment about myself makes it easier for me to judge other people. When I judge other people, I then therefore believe other people are judging me. If you're walking around believing that everybody's judging you just as harshly as you're judging yourself, this is going to feel like a very cruel world. That's not even what we're talking about today. Okay, so what we are talking about today is what are you making it mean? So again, the reason why is in order to change the stories running our life, we have to be aware of the stories running our life. And this is simple and hard, I think both at the same time. To

Solitude In A Constantly Pinged World

SPEAKER_01 4:14

be aware of what's going in our life means to invite stillness in, to invite quiet in. I was visiting with my neighbor the other day, and I think that they're in their 50s, 60s, I think they might be in their 60s. They're moving to Portugal, and we're at my husband and I are asking them why, and they just feel that that is a more um the environment is better than the environment in America right now, without going into too much detail. But while we were visiting with them, one of the things that uh our neighbor said was she's like, I think that I am the last generation or we are the last generation to truly understand solitude. And it hit me for a second because I was like, wait, no, I understand solitude, but I was trying to lean into what she was saying. I was like, No, no, no, she's right. Because my generation, I'm a millennial, I'm 33, as I'm as this podcast is being recorded, knows technology, and technology in part was meant to be a tool, was also meant to be a tool of connection, communication, social media, right? And so what she was saying, if I understood her correctly, was that her generation was the generation before technology, before the computer. So for them, they truly understood solitude, they could just be alone. Whereas in this current day and age, in 2026, there's so much information, there's so many ways to be connected. We're aware, I mean, I'm wearing a watch right now, and that's why people are always like, What you I saw that your phone was on do not disturb. It's always on do not disturb because I like my solitude. But it's because I don't want to be pinged every five seconds. I don't want to be alerted when the world wants to alert me, right? And so the point that I'm trying to make here is that we are currently in a day and age where there's a lot of information, there's a lot of ways to be stimulated, whether it's through music or podcasts or hanging out with a friend or being on social media or checking your watch or checking your notifications or checking your email, right? We are constantly invited to be producing. Remember that episode when we talked about reflection? Right? We are constantly pushed to produce, to produce, to do, to do, to move to the next thing. And that's why rest is so hard, and that's why we feel so guilty when we sit down, because to create stillness is counterintuitive and counterproductive to the society that we've been born in. And I'm talking about Western American society, right? I know that we have listeners all over the world, but it's counterintuitive to how we've been groomed, we'll say in America. And so to sit down and to be aware of our stories can feel difficult. But hopefully, we're gonna talk through it. I can give you some ways to make it easier. So,

The Moment Comparison Hijacks Joy

SPEAKER_01 6:45

my example, the reason why this podcast came up was the other day I am on social media and pops up in my feed someone that I love very dearly, I've known for years. It is Father's Day the other day, and she announces on Father's Day that her husband is now going to become a father of three. My brain, while very excited for her, very grateful for her, then made it mean some things. My brain said, I'm behind, I'm late. She's over here having her third child, and I haven't even had my first child. It's never going to happen for me. I made it mean all sorts of things. It took a second for me to look at that photo, see my friend with her. I think it was a sonogram where the um yeah, just the picture of the baby in the belly. She's holding it, she has the two boys, she already has two boys, and her husband are all sitting on the bed, and so that's the picture. And sends me, sends me. I was like, I'm behind, I'm late, it's never gonna happen to me, I'm never gonna be mom. Oh my god. And then I paused. Because I've been doing this work for a hot second. And if you're coaching with me, you know exactly what I'm doing right now. Pause. I listened to my body. My body was starting to get hot, my body was starting to get tense, my body was starting to let me know hey, you have some thoughts that are running right now that are not serving you. And so I paused, and I noticed what I am making it mean right now that I saw my friend who I'm genuinely excited for, but what did I make it mean about me? I made it mean all of these things. Again, mindfulness, awareness without judgment. When I noticed it, and then I didn't judge myself for feeling behind, for feeling bad for not being a mom, for feeling all these different things. I just noticed it. I said, Notice, man, I'm feeling really crummy right now about this. Man, I really think that I'm behind. And when I noticed that, I got to chuckle at it, not immediately. Let me be very, very honest. It took me a solid probably half hour to an hour to feel my feelings and then notice that I was making up crazy stories about myself and my life, and then to transmute those feelings by noticing them and saying, Oh, lovingly saying, Oh, you're really upset right now. It's okay that you're upset. I see that you believe that this isn't going to happen for you. Notice 99.9% of the time when I am working with women, when I'm working with clients, they come to me upset, frustrated, annoyed, confused. And it's because they stopped believing that the thing that they want, that the experience that they want was available to them. And so when we start to feel bad, yucky, depressed, anxious, and that's what my body was telling me. I was starting to feel bad. So then I went and I paused. What's what are the stories I'm telling myself right now? What are the stories you're telling yourselves, my friends? What are the stories you're telling yourself when somebody cuts you off on the road? What is the story you're telling yourself when you lose followers? What is the story you're telling yourself when you see someone winning in business, a close friend of yours is winning in business, a close friend of yours is starting to post online more consistently and you're loving their content and they're doing so well. What are you making it mean about yourself? Just notice. When you're in a meeting and you have a great idea, but you don't speak up, and then you hear somebody else speak up, and maybe it's not the same idea, it's a different idea, but you just notice them speak up with such confidence, whether or not it's a great idea. What are you making it mean about yourself? When you see someone with something that you really want, what are you making it mean about yourself? Again,

The Follower Spiral And Brain Evidence

SPEAKER_01 10:43

I've been recently reading uh Mark Manson's The Art of Not Giving an F-U-C-K. And one of the things that he talks about is this feedback loop from H.E. Double hockey sticks. I'm really trying hard not to cover curse so my mamas can listen to this podcast, y'all. Okay, so he was talking about this feedback loop from HE Double Hockey Six. I don't call it that when I'm coaching, but I really did like the phrasing of it. So let's say you tell the story, you lose followers on social media, you're trying to build your brand, you're trying to grow your following, and you lose like 10 followers, right? When you're when you're building your following, you really do notice when you lose a follower, five followers, whatever it is. First of all, check in with that, right? The person of you who is in their work, loves doing their work, is paid well for their work, enjoys being creative online, they're likely not paying attention to their follower account. So just check in with that. But let's say you lose, you know, five, ten followers, you really try to build your follower account. What is it that you're making it mean? Let's say you make it mean I'm never gonna get to the 10,000 follower mark, right? And then your brain goes, This is how the downward spiral happens, right? I'm never gonna make it to the 10,000 follower mark. Your brain, neuroscience, your reticular activating system then goes into effect to find evidence for that thought. So you start making up a story. Nobody told you this, nobody came in and said, This is what's true, this is what's happening. You made this story up on your own. You're logical, so it's evidence-based, right? So I'm gonna give you that, but you made this story up. It's never gonna happen for me. I'm never gonna hit 10,000 followers. Your brain then goes to look for evidence of that. It says, Well, yeah, you've you've been at 500 for a really long time. It's probably not gonna happen for you. I really just don't understand how you're gonna get there. And the spiral continues, and you look for more evidence of why it's not working, and then you beat yourself up, and then you look for more evidence of why it's not working, and then you beat yourself up, and then you wonder why you're stuck. Why am I stuck? Why am I anxious? Why do I feel confused? Why do I feel overwhelmed? Because you made up a story about yourself that you are believing and you are finding evidence for. And that's so crazy the way our brains work. And it's logical, right? You made that story from a logical place. You see that you have 500 followers, you haven't grown in, I don't know, six months or whatever it is, and instead you've lost five. So it's a logical thought to think I'm never gonna make it to 10,000. But I'm telling you, that thought doesn't serve you. It might be factual that you haven't grown in six months, to continue to repeat to yourself, I'm never gonna get there, it's never gonna happen, doesn't serve you. Your brain then goes to look for evidence of that. What do you want to look for evidence of instead? That you are growing, that you're having fun with this, that you're creating value, and that that value is creating more followers. Check in. Because the stories you're telling yourself are informing your identity, the stories you're telling yourself are informing how you see and value relationships. The stories you're telling yourself are influencing the decisions you make and therefore the results that you get.

Jealousy As Data And Desire

SPEAKER_01 13:54

If you see, this was an example that really got me before I got married. When I would see a woman with a beautiful ring that I wanted, I would have to check in. I would have to check in because I would see that ring and be like, oh, I want that. That's probably never gonna happen for me. That's so beautiful. Like, what does her husband do? How'd she get a man like that? Like all those thoughts. And I had to check in. What am I making it mean? And then I got to check in and get playful with it. Because y'all know jealousy here is just an indicator, right? Jealousy is just an indicator of something that you want, not an indicator of something you can't have. Transmute it. When you see something and you feel jealous, instead of letting the jealousy run rampant and tell crazy stories, pause, check in. What is it that you want that is causing the feeling of jealousy in your body, then affirm of course you can have something as beautiful as that. I had to start looking at women's beautiful rings because that was something that I wanted. That's not important to everybody. Let's be clear about that, but it was something that I wanted. I said, I want a big, beautiful ring, and big means different things to different people. So let's be clear about that too. Comparison is a thief of joy. We're not here to compare. I'm telling a story. I wanted something beautiful, and I was like, I want this is what I got. I got really specific about what that meant for me. And when I would see it in the world and I would feel jealousy, I paused, took a deep breath, said, I can have that too. I can create that too. And it doesn't have to come from a man. I can make my own money and then maybe have buy my own. But also, I do want it to come from my partner. So let me be honest about that. And let me notice the itchy parts of me that say I can't have that. Or a man like that wouldn't buy something like that for me. All the stories that I'm again literally making up. What are the stories that you are making up? Are they serving you? Are they not? What are the stories you're making up about how people see you? Everybody hates me, everybody doesn't like me. What are the stories that you are making up? What are you making

Rewrite The Narrative Without Judgment

SPEAKER_01 16:00

it mean when somebody doesn't come and talk to you? What are you making it mean when XYZ? Notice. This does become a practice from when you wake up to when you go to bed, not in a crazy like, oh my gosh, I have to notice every single thought all the time, but just notice as you're going through your day. Oh, I got up five minutes later than my alarm. I'm making it mean that I'm super lazy because I hit snooze three times. Then you get to check in. Okay, cool. What do I want to do with that information? Is it that I would like to change my thoughts about waking up a little bit later? Or is it that I would actually like to wake up earlier? I'm removing the judgment. I'm noticing that I was I made it mean something that didn't serve me that I got up later, that I'm a lazy person. Is that true? No, it's not true. But would it serve me to get up the first time my alarm goes off? Yes. Would I feel better if I did that? Yes. Do I need to beat myself up about that? No. When we notice our stories and we remove the judgment, it gives us our power back. We get to look at these stories and look at them like data, like information. Oh, I got jealous over here. Oh, I got angry over there. Oh, I felt behind over here. I'm making it mean this when that happened. Oh, that's interesting. What would I like to do instead? Notice what you are making it mean. It being every aspect of our life. Do you like the narrative? Do you like the narrative you have about work? Do you like the narrative you have about yourself? What is the narrative you have about your relationship? What is the narrative you have around money? Do you like that narrative? The ones you like, great. The ones that you don't, pause. What would you like to change it to? What would you like to believe instead? It's possible for me to have a beautiful engagement ring. It's possible for me to have a job that I love. It's possible for me to make money on the internet. It's possible for me to be asked to speak on stages. What do you want to believe instead? Reminders, comparison is a thief of joy. Complaining keeps you unhappy, further away from what you want. The brain, the logical brain, is like if I complain about it enough, if I beat myself up about it enough, that will create change. It might, but the change that I want you to create is grounded aligned change. Not change that is born from jealousy, not change that is born from not good enoughness. You are good enough. Nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken, you are not behind. You are wired for growth. And when you notice things in your life that other people have and in your environment that excite that growth, notice it that way. Don't tell a story about yourself, how you're behind or bad. Notice, oh, I want that too. And I have access to that too. How might I step into alignment for that job, for that title, for being a mother, for whatever it is that you want? What would it look like to play with possibility? Step one, love yourself. Step two, play with possibility. In order to play with possibility, though, you gotta notice what stories you're playing with right now. What are the stories you're telling yourself about your life? What are you making it mean when you see somebody else with something that you have? Check in.

Coaching Options And How To Join

SPEAKER_01 19:33

If you want some help on this, this podcast is chalkful, so go listen to another episode. You can always come and coach with me, one-on-one coaching. Love to do it, it's my favorite thing to do. I'm running the art of magnetism right now, and I'm having so much fun with it because we're doing a lot of this work of noticing our stories. We actually did that this past week. What are the stories you're telling yourself? What are the stories you're telling yourself about how other people see you? What are the stories you're telling yourself about your future self? Right? The art of magnetism, this group coaching course that I'm running is about identity work. To be your most magnetic, you have to so deeply love yourself, be connected to yourself, be connected to your vision, be connected to who you are, love who you are. That is where magnetism comes from. I love that quote. Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. That's a magnetic person. So that's the work we're doing in the art of magnetism. The next round uh kicks off in August. Go to naundecamil.com to learn more. As always, you can send me an email, hello at naundicamil.com, if you have any questions. And come and sign up for that free discovery call. If you're on the fence, if you're curious about coaching, if you're like, I don't know, I've never done life coaching before, or I've done therapy, but I've never done coaching. I'm curious about it. I don't know if it's for me. There's a ton of information on my website about it, my friends. Go check out that information. I worked hard on it. I am gonna be updating the website here soon. But that's all my stuff. Take what sticks to you, love the rest, leave the rest. Take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I love you all. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week. I'll see you next week.

Rate, Share, And Book A Call

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey. Go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamil.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.